Ghosting, Gaslighting, and Gay Bars (w/ Roz Hernandez)
Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
Headgum & Nicole Byer
4.8 • 15.6K Ratings
🗓️ 15 August 2025
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
For Roz Hernandez, dating as a sober, trans woman comedian is a trifecta of difficulty - and finding love hasn’t been easy. She tells Nicole about going to 4 different Etsy psychics to sketch her future husband, using Grindr to find dates willing to explore haunted places, and the hookup stories that came from visiting 45 gay bars across the country. She opens up about the surprising ways gay men have treated her, why she’s stopped dating straight men altogether, and the many times she’s been ghosted - in love and in life. Nicole shares why she loves her boyfriend so much, and the two dive into what might really be behind the male loneliness epidemic.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. |
| 0:07.0 | This is a headgum podcast. |
| 0:10.0 | Ooh, baby, Macy's is out here making me feel like a rich bitch on a budget. |
| 0:15.0 | It's their jewelry sale right now. And Macy said, you want Sparkle, let me hook you up. |
| 0:20.0 | You can get up to 70% off jewelry |
| 0:22.6 | and watches. Yes, 70. We're talking 45 to 70% off fine jewelry, 40 to 55% off fashion jewelry, and 20% off |
| 0:33.9 | watches. And you know, I love a dramatic piece. They've got diamond halo bridal sets, |
| 0:40.1 | drop earrings, tennis bracelets, a true miracle diamond stud, earrings, and 14-carat white gold for only |
| 0:48.2 | 199. Yes, please. Oh, girl, I am eyeing some new gold rings right now that are so fabulous. I might just |
| 0:56.8 | bling up for my podcast recordings because why not? Life is too short. Add more sparkle. Do not |
| 1:03.1 | sleep on this. The sale ends August 25th. Head to Macy's.com or shop in store now and live your sparkly |
| 1:10.7 | little fantasy. |
| 1:12.9 | My grinder says straight men creep me out because there's a lot of straight |
| 1:19.2 | identifying men on grinder. |
| 1:21.6 | Yeah. |
| 1:22.8 | And the conversations I get in with people, these blank profiles that'll be like, what the fuck is wrong |
| 1:31.3 | with straight men? Why do you think we're creepy? They're on Grindr as a straight man, messaging you |
| 1:37.0 | being like, what's wrong with straight men? Yeah. Yeah. I would be like, this whole interaction's |
| 1:43.8 | what's wrong with you. |
| 1:44.7 | Yes. |
| 1:45.2 | And this is creepy. |
| 1:47.3 | Why won't you date me? |
... |
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