You ever been shot with a super-soaker when you're reading the paper?

It's really loud. You wouldn't think it's as loud as it is, but it is as loud as it is.

I was reading The New York Times, which I don't really do anymore. This story is kind of old.

My wife would always get the Sunday Times and I would hate read it just to drive myself crazy.

It's so... This liberal media, they're not even aware of how biased they are.

I just saw a news piece about the Patriot Prayer rally.

Clearly, the guy doing the story was on the side of the alt left.

One of his questions to Joy Gibson was, aren't you just provoking them by going over there and trying to get beat up?

Nice question. And then when he talked to the lefties, he said...

Shouldn't we just stay home? We. He used the word we.

Anyway, I'm not trying to get into that. I'm just explaining why I had such a huge newspaper.

Usually we eat the New York Post. By the way, even the shape of The New York Times is irritating.

When you're on the train and someone unfurls this giant tarp of a newspaper

that they've got to hold up, like they're holding up a giant protest placard, it's massive.

And inevitably, if you're on the train, unless you're an origami expert and you can fold it into a shape where you can see,

unless you're that good at folding, you're holding it into someone's face.

So it's... It's lip spreading, no matter how you slice it.

The New York Post just sits in your hands, minds its own business. You can read it.

It's got silly little salacious local stuff at the beginning and gossip,

and there's the heavier pieces towards the end of the first half, and then it's all sports.

Perfect paper. Little too much sports from I like it, but whatever.

Anyway, so I'm reading the Times and I just hear...

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