I never really got tits.

I grew up in a...

my sexual coming of age was, you know, strange suburb.

And it was in Canata, Ontario.

And we were out on the outskirts of the country, outskirts of the city, I should say,

because there was these cookie cutter homes that Matt Dillens first movie over the edge

confronts this phenomenon. And it was like, by a farmer's field for dirt cheap.

There's not a lot of farming going on in Canata, it's too cold.

Buy a bunch of land, get a cookie cutter of house, maybe three different models,

and then just repeat them 200 times and sell them for cheap and now you have a suburb.

Unfortunately for the kids, you're bored out of your mind in the middle of nowhere.

There was literally cows in my backyard.

So the schools are half carpes from the neighboring town of Carp with real farmers kids,

and then half middle-class kids with cheap parents, which is usually British immigrants,

which meant that half my friends had four skins and half didn't.

I probably told the story before, right?

About the fights we used to have.

We used to do this thing where, although we were all friends, we would split into groups,

four skinned guys and non-four skinned guys, and we would fight.

And the fight took the form of wedgies.

When you're all alone, sorry, when you want a brawl, you just start doing the call.

The call for circumsize guys was SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP, pretty lame call.

...