You know, sex offenders hate the local?

Yeah.

You know why?

Too many stops.

Yeah.

From the smallest room in New York City comes a show that gives you a reasonable

sexual assault is funny.

Manhattan Criminal Court, a female victim, tearfully breaking down while describing

an allegedly terrifying Halloween encounter with a drunken Manhattan

prosecutor dressed as Superman. Well, they say dressed with a job you want. Personally, I think he's a sucker.

35-year-old Eli Jerkasky allegedly choked 31-year-old Kirsten Shook during a brawl at the Murray Hill bar.

I was petrifying.

I thought he was trying to kill me.

In his defense, she was dressed as Lex Luthor.

Shook says, Jerk Asky was hammered, looking for his coat.

She says he picked up her purse and scarred from a chair and threw it down.

She says she angrily told him not to touch her things. Weirdly, the alcohol they'd consumed

seemed to add to the problem. He screamed at me, you cunt, and started rushing toward me.

I splashed beer in his face. I thought it would slow him down or stop him. You're thinking

a kryptonite.

Throwing beer at people enrages him. Damn, she really isn't, kind. I'm glad I could help.

According to Shook, he slammed her into a railing, dragged her to the floor and choked her. She says it took four men to pull him off.

...