We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can

only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Okay. You have accessed entry 521.

JB1817.

Certificate number 34 402. Generic food.

I was a kid.

My mother would never buy any name-brand foods.

Never a name-brand.

Being supermarket, Ma, can we get some jiff peanut butter?

You got some jiff money?

Never a name brand food.

You know my mother used to buy all the time the no frills food? You ever seen the no frills food, the white box with the black letters?

How much brand loyalty would you say you have on a scale of 1 to 10? I would say that's a good question. I'm

without giving free advertising to a half a dozen products that have not paid to be on the

...