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Flying Free

Gaslighting and Guilt: Why Christian Women Stay Stuck in Toxic Relationships [346]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.

Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stuck, particularly when Jesus is used as the emotional ball-and-chain.

Together, we unravel gaslighting, guilt, spiritual manipulation, emotional immaturity, and why you’re not selfish or sinful for walking away from garbage disguised as godliness.


Key Takeaways:

  • Label-Schmabel: Stop obsessing over whether he's a narcissist or just "difficult." The real question is: does he take responsibility or make excuses? That’s your answer.
  • Jesus Isn’t Your Abuser’s Alibi: Jesus didn’t die so you could stay trapped in a soul-sucking relationship. 
  • Guilt is a Control Tool: Toxic people weaponize your good-girl guilt to keep you stuck. 
  • Change the Dance: You can’t make him change. But you can change the steps you’re taking, and that alone can shift the entire dynamic. 
  • You’re Not Powerless: If everything hinges on him, you’re trapped. Shift the focus back to YOU: your choices, your growth, your freedom.
  • Truth Bomb: It’s Not Your Fault: You’re not responsible for his tantrums, beliefs, or abuse. You are responsible for how you respond and whether you keep playing along.
  • Rebuilding Takes Time: Gaslighting screws with your reality. Healing comes as you reconnect with truth, reclaim your identity, and learn to giggle (a little) when grown men act like kindergartners.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.


Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If you've ever wondered, is he really a narcissist or just immature? Am I enabling abuse by

0:08.7

staying or sinning by leaving? Is it possible to forgive and still walk away? And what if I've

0:16.8

been gaslit for so long? I don't even trust myself anymore. In this part two episode,

0:23.5

Christian counselor and author Chris Reese joins me again to unpack the questions that haunt

0:29.1

so many Christian women in toxic relationships, especially when religion has been used to keep

0:35.7

them stuck. Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of FlyingFreeNow.com,

0:40.9

and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast,

0:44.2

a support resource for women of faith,

0:46.8

looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse.

0:52.5

So we're going to kind of circle back to what I touched on a little bit

0:55.5

earlier about the whole narcissism thing. Because I know, I think your channel is, you use that

1:02.3

word a lot. So I'm going to deviate a little bit from the interview questions just to say,

1:07.4

like for example, the next question is, you know know how can someone tell if their mom or spouse

1:11.8

is actually a narcissist or is just difficult or wounded how do you handle those kinds of things

1:17.7

when people say you know i don't because i get that a lot too well is he a narcissist is she a narcissist

1:22.8

i mean and how does that at the end of the day actually change anything as far as your approach to dealing with their issues or their impact on you?

1:33.5

It's interesting that you ask that.

1:35.1

So when we look at narcissists or just straight up difficult people or toxic people, however you want to, there is a difference.

1:45.0

So difficult people will look to rectify.

1:49.0

Toxic people look to justify.

1:52.0

Hmm.

1:53.0

So when we start to recognize, like, what am I dealing with here?

...

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