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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 3: Monday, March 23 [Vault]

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Entertainment News, Comedy, Society & Culture, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Show PT 3: Monday, March 23 [Vault]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Indeed Presents. Hires you can't afford to get wrong. Like a warehouse operations manager. Uh, where are the forklifts? I sold them. They were too expensive. I got a great deal on these scooters though. You expect us to move a two-term palette on a scooter. It'll be fun. Just think of the core strength you'll build. This is a job for sponsored jobs. This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed.

0:21.5

So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an Indeed sponsored job.

0:26.8

Visit Indeed.com slash next hire and sponsor your job today.

0:30.2

Get it. The Birch Show.

0:32.2

Previously on The Birch Show.

0:34.1

My mom and dad have been divorced for five years.

0:37.2

Suddenly this year, my mom just has this massive revelation that she and my dad belong together.

0:43.5

I don't have any idea how my dad feels about my mom romantically.

0:48.6

Well, my mom has constructed the theme.

0:51.8

She wants me to make him to a really nice restaurant.

0:56.2

And then there's somebody special here that I think would be perfect for you. And then my mom comes out. And then

1:02.8

somehow I duck out and I say, well, I have a taste, you know. And now she's trying to get me

1:07.8

involved. And I feel really guilty. Okay. So that was last week on the show. And going into the weekend, she was ready to execute her plan, even though the entire Burt Show community said, Don't do it. Because she said it would be fun. This would be fun. It sounds like fun. Right. Well, and she was just really hoping that they would get back together or at least start up some sort of conversation. But we kept giving her the advice, like, you can't just step away from the table and shock your dad. You should at least tell him what's coming. Hey, when I get up, guess who's coming in, you know? Or don't leave all together. At least sit at the bar and keep an eye. So if it looks, you can intervene. She's like, no safety net here.

1:45.6

None.

1:45.9

Hey, Lori.

1:47.5

Hi, how are you?

1:49.0

Good.

1:49.7

How are you and how are your mom today?

1:53.1

I guess we're fine.

1:57.2

I have a little bit, I have a flu.

1:59.5

So that's not cool.

2:01.6

The good news is that it'll take four weeks to go away.

...

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