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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 1: Thursday, June 22

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

News, Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 22 June 2023

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Show PT 1: Thursday, June 22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Need something new to listen to? Check out the Real Tall Tales podcast.

0:03.8

Have you ever met anyone with the most insane story?

0:06.5

So ridiculous, so unbelievable that you're sure it must be made up?

0:10.2

Three guys walk in, all masked, one with a gun, one with the bat, and one with the hockey stick.

0:15.6

The chef's scientific calculations at that point basically said that we had 24 to 48 hours to live

0:20.6

and that we were all going to slowly freeze to death.

0:22.7

Or maybe it's your story.

0:24.2

So you could smell the popcorn blended with the gunpowder

0:27.5

and had to jump over this body to get out of the movie theater.

0:31.0

The one you tell at parties, but no one believes.

0:33.4

And as we start to run, I slip and I hit the raised cobblestone and I look back and the

0:38.0

bulls are right there.

0:39.4

The story that sounds like pure fiction.

0:41.4

I see something sort of moving along the wall.

0:44.6

It takes me a second to register what it is and all of a sudden I see that python head

0:48.8

peep over the other side.

0:50.0

But it's real life.

0:51.1

Everyone starts smelling smoke.

0:52.8

Then I look up and I see these like bright orange flames.

0:56.8

These are the real tall tales we're collecting, the extraordinary stories of ordinary people.

1:02.2

This man accuses us of a crime of killing two soldiers.

1:06.0

His idea of justice was going to be, was he was going to start killing us off one by one

...

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