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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 1: Monday, June 12

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

News, Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 12 June 2023

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Show PT 1: Monday, June 12 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Want to listen to the full Bert Show every day uninterrupted with no ads become a bonus

0:08.6

Bert Show subscriber. Find out more at thebertshow.com slash bonus BS.

0:30.8

Years ago when I was living in Dallas we went out before a Texas Rangers opening game

0:37.3

and I was with a whole bunch my friends down in Texas and we decided that we were going to go

0:40.8

off-roading right before the game. No problem. Driver with Super Sober but everybody else in the

0:46.9

open air Jeep was drinking tailgating beforehand and I was right in the thick of it.

0:53.0

So we're in this we're on a dirt road and we're going through a track and we're going up and we're

0:59.4

going down in these valleys and up into these mountains and the drivers even scream out

1:04.5

get your seatbelt on get your seatbelt on and I'm drunk. I need a seatbelt.

1:10.4

And as soon as I said that he hit a hole and I went right up into the roll bar with my nose

1:17.3

which came down on my teeth and I cracked all four of my teeth. Wow what an idiot. Every time

1:24.2

you tell that story just I feel like my teeth are going to fall out. What a totaling completed

1:28.5

idiot. Did you still go to the game? I know. We skipped the game. I got a couple more beers than me.

1:37.0

The guys that I was hanging out with at the time were um deathly afraid of my wife

1:43.2

and dropped me off of my apartment complex and said, you're on your own but.

1:48.8

So when. Yeah, what did sit? What was Stacy's face like? Was she saw your bloodied face?

1:54.5

Well, I can't say what the face is but I could say exactly what she said. So I was sitting in

1:59.7

our apartment and I had an old English 800 in my hand. Wow. Wow. Yes, you were.

2:07.1

It's a long day drink right there. Um, she opened up the door. I was sitting there watching

2:12.3

television. I had a washcloth on my mouth which was bloodied and I had the OE 800 in my hand.

2:19.1

And she just. She just looked at me and she said, I didn't sign up for this.

2:26.9

And then walked into our bathroom and then she thought I had gotten into a fight.

...

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