From Avoidance to Acceptance: A New Way to Live with Anxiety with Kelly Wilson

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Education, Self-improvement, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.6 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 31 October 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Kelly Wilson explains how to move from avoidance to acceptance: a new way to live with anxiety. He delves into how our vulnerabilities show us what matters to us, and that the goal isn’t to win a war inside. It’s to keep coming back to the next honest action that moves you towards what matters. That is at the core of acceptance and commitment therapy. Not chasing perfect feelings, but choosing the next right move towards your values, again and again.

Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!

Key Takeaways:

Exploration of psychological struggles, particularly anxiety, and their impact on life.
Introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and its core principles.
Discussion of the six core processes of ACT: present moment awareness, cognitive defusion, acceptance, values, committed action, and self as context.
Examination of the relationship between vulnerability and personal growth.
Critique of traditional diagnostic labels and their limitations in understanding psychological experiences.
Emphasis on the importance of values in guiding meaningful actions and decisions.
Insights into the nature of human suffering and the commonality of psychological pain.
The concept of redemption and its role in personal development and therapy.
Reframing commitment as a moment-to-moment process rather than a rigid promise.
Encouragement of compassion and understanding in the face of psychological challenges.d understanding.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	My vulnerability seemed to me to be the enemy, and I tried ever so hard to make it go away.
0:08.5	And when I made peace with it, it ended up being the center of my career.
0:20.2	Welcome to the one you feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have.
0:27.2	Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.
0:32.7	And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.
0:37.0	We tend toward negativity,
0:38.8	self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think
0:45.0	things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions
0:50.7	matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.
0:56.4	This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.
1:05.0	When I was younger, I thought my weakest traits were the enemy. Maybe you felt that way too. The tenderness that makes
1:12.5	you easy to hurt, the anxiety that won't let go. Kelly Wilson, co-developer of acceptance
1:18.1	and commitment therapy, said something in our conversation that I think about often.
1:22.9	Our values and our vulnerabilities are poured from the same vessel. Our vulnerabilities show us what
1:29.4	matters to us. And the goal isn't to win a war inside. It's to keep coming back to the next
1:35.4	honest action that moves you towards what matters. And that's the spirit of acceptance and
1:40.9	commitment therapy, not chasing perfect feelings, but choosing the next right move towards your values again and again.
1:49.4	I'm Eric Zimmer and this is the one you feed.
1:53.3	Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com.
1:58.5	UK slash Wondery. That's audible.com.K. slash Wondery. That's audible.com.
2:01.9	dot U.K. slash Wondery. Hi, Kelly. Welcome to the show. Well, it's good to be here.
2:07.3	I am glad to have you on. We're going to talk a little bit about your book, which I love the title of,
	...

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