You know what my mother loves, guys? My husband.

We got you laced it and you married her. Look at me. What's not to life?

From homeless teenager to an unhinged American mom, we're talking to Zarna Garg. In India, even today, if you're married, the mother knows. She could be me and she could be wicked. If she's lighting you on fire, you're supposed to help her. And be like, no, no, let me do it. To come from that world where I am now, where I'm like, be a word, see a word, my father.

If he was alive today, he would be absolutely... You're supposed to help her and be like no no, let me do it. To come from that world, where I am now, where I'm like B-word, C-word, my father.

If he was alive today, he would be absolutely horrified that I stand on stage, counting out opinions all day long. How old were you when your dad told you it was time to get married? Just about 50. That's when it hit me. I don't know if I can go home. My solution was alcohol with my friends, the couch surfing started.

I didn't think it was going to snowball into the school year event.

I was in so deep that I didn't know how to take myself out of it. Your character on Big Bang Theory was revolutionary. I would watch it and be like, oh my god, this girl is crazy, out with the glasses and she's so smart. you probably turned on millions of nerdy men.

And some of the women as well.

And I believe deeply that Destiny brought me.

There's no other explanation for it.

When I started stand-up comedy,

I made the decision that I will be fully myself.

Either the audience will accept me

or I will not have a career in it.

And I felt that if I just accept myself the way I am,

maybe that will inspire other people to accept themselves. Shhh. Shhh. My MB Alex Breakdown is supported by Helix Sleep. Spring is in the air and so are all of the allergens that come with it. Spring allergens means you need more sleep, but there are a ton of factors that can prevent us from getting a good night's rest. Night sweats, back pain, feeling the person next to you when they roll over a million times, we were so excited to hear that Helix wanted to partner with us. I've had my Helix mattress for about five years now, and I have been sleeping so much better. Jonathan and also our kids love their Helix mattresses and all of those issues. night sweats, back pain, motion transfer, those things are significantly better with a Helix mattress. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door, which is so much fun with free shipping in the US. They have a 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Plus, they're happy with Helix guarantee. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free customer first experience designed to ensure that you're completely satisfied with your new mattress go to helix sleep dot com slash breakdown for 27% off site wide that's helix sleep dot com slash breakdown for 27% off site wide helix sleep dot com slash breakdown. My name is Alex Breakdown and I'm supported by superpower.

We all know what it's like to leave a doctor's appointment feeling like you have more questions than answers. There's no real data, there's no game plan. This has happened to me countless times, especially when I started my parimenopause journey. That's why we love superpower. It's one simple blood draw with over 100 biomarkers way more than an average test. or even sends a licensed professional to your home

or you can visit a nearby lab.

Their app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, metabolism, vitamin and mineral levels, even environmental toxins. Superpower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there. And Superpower doesn't just give you a one-time snapshot. It tracks your results over your lifetime. Each test builds on the last so you can see progress year after year instead of starting over every January. Stop only reacting to health problems and start proactively improving your health based on real personalized data. Other testing services can charge up to $500,000, sometimes more for similar or less. Make this the year that you stop guessing about your health with superpower. Not only did superpower reduce their price to just $199, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional $20 off with the code break. So head to superpower.com, use the code break at checkout for $20 off your membership. After you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them, make sure to mention my My ambiolics break down to support our show. Hi, I'm my ambiolic. And I'm Jonathan Cohen.

And welcome to our Breakdown.

We Sure Love, Committee. Make sure to mention, Miami Alex Breakdown to support our show. Hi, I'm Miami Alex. And I'm Jonathan Cohen. And welcome to our Breakdown. We sure love comedians here on Miami Alex Breakdown. And today we're going to speak to an unbelievable pioneer in the world of standup comedy. There's no better introduction than to say we're talking to Zarna Garg. She is the author of this American woman, a one in a billion memoir. She went from a homeless teenager to an unhinged American mom and she's an internationally beloved stand up comedian as well as a New York Times best seller. We're going to be talking to her not only about what makes her so funny, so authentic, so down to earth. We're also going to talk about the often treacherous road that she had to walk to get here and how her mother's death and her father's rejection of her and the time that she spent homeless formed her into the hilarious person that she is. Make sure to join us over on Substack, where the breaker community gets content, not available anywhere else. We hope to see you over there, and without further ado, welcome Zarna Garg to the Breakdown. Break it down. I'm a huge fan of yours, and I'm a real connoisseur of all things stand up comedy. So I'm especially interested when new faces come on the scene. And you're absolutely hysterical, first of all. But second of all, there's this other layer to the comedy that you do that is so wise. And not only is it kind of from a different place, but you're really speaking from a different time in terms of the voice that you were raised with, the voice that you found, and the success that you have. Can you share kind of the most unbelievable aspect to your journey thus far? I mean, I'm blown away by how much people are interested in my really kind of boring life. I mean when I started stand-up comedy, I really thought that I should look for what is my perspective and what is my voice and the books kind of talked about the voice and find this and that. And I remember writing a couple of jokes at the beginning about like, women should not be wearing high heels and I don't know I was thinking about what in western culture do I have a perspective on and then I remember a fellow comic of mine pulled me aside and an open mic and said we don't care about the high heels we want to hear about you and I was like me what do you want to? He's like, your life, we're not going to have somebody like you up on a stage like this. So we want to hear about whatever your life is. And that was like eye-opening to me. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I was shocked. Does nobody thought I was interesting until that point. The way you describe it, you said in India, I was deemed deemed so unimportant that no one cared what came out of my mouth. And this is also not meant to be denigrating of Indian culture. And you write a really, you really, you walk that fine line. But can you talk a little bit like what I got from your book, you came out different. Like you came out different than the culture around you. You came out with like a mouth and a brain that wanted to express itself. And generations of women, no matter what culture you came from, understand what you were born into. What was it about you that made you open your mouth? I don't know. I was the youngest of four. So I do think there's something to the birth order thing that my kids talk about incessantly because in America people talk about this. And I didn't really think about it until my kids were like, you're a classic last born. Because I was not only the fourth. I was like fourth by many years. So by the time I came around, nobody cared about having kids, nobody wanted, nobody had the patience to deal with baby stuff. And I had to like fight for attention constantly, like fight to not be left behind, fight to not, you know. So what happened was that I think that that made me say things that shocked initially. But I honestly don't know. I mean, I'm modified by me. I say things that I'm like, please God, after the words come out of my mouth, I'm like, why did I say those things? But there's no real explanation for it. But I was always very curious. That's also another thing, not much encouraged back where I came from, when I came from. I was the kid who wanted to read everything. And America in many ways, even before I was stepped foot in America, changed my life. Like reading about all these women who were having fun and nobody was obsessed with getting married and they were doing things, like not even, and I don't mean like walking on the moon things. I was just like dating with free will. You know, I remember, I don't even mean like gigantic accomplishments. Like I didn't care about the big, more accomplished women not that they are not to be for, but they're really special and all that. But from where I came from, even just watching American sitcoms and being like, wow, like these three roommates are just living with each other. Three's company was eye-opening to somebody who was so shocked with the first time, you know, when I saw what that was. So, and I think the minute I saw it, I was like, I need that. I need that life. You did have some experience in the States and you talk about this kind of awakening that you had when you were taken from your culture and placed in this Western culture and kind of this revolution that happened. Can you talk a little bit about that transformation and then what it was like to return home? I came here when I was younger, when my sister was married in America and I visited a few times and every time I came I saw something new. Like I was like, oh my god, I remember the first bubble bath ever. Like, no, you don't understand. Like in India, they treat water like gold. Like the idea that you're just gonna sit in it and play with it. And it's not a big pool where many, many people are playing, but you get your own little one was shocking. And I would come back and like, you know, like any big mouthy kid I would be like you know what I saw and then they do this and then they have all these bubbles and then they have colors and the but and I remember I remember when I was young all my friends gathering around me and they're like you did they do but then you come to America and it's like not even of fact, like it's nothing. Like it didn't hear it feels like everybody has a bubble bath. But you go back and you the thought of even one existing is shocking. So I was constantly straddling the two worlds. And here I would come and tell people stories about back home. And it's really funny because you would think that money is the most attractive thing, right? But it's not. I learned as a child, like, I would come here and tell stories about cows in India, which is a very real thing. Like cows are everywhere in India. And you would talk about like how kids feed cows. Like that's the thing we do. You pay a little bit of money, like pennies, and then you get grass, even in the big urban cities.

It's a thing that we do.

...