Friend Fight and Therapist Red Flag
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2025
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 Do you fight with your friends? 09:25 Why don't we say that friendships take work?
23:55 Can you dissipate resentment?
40:42 Dyslexia newsletter & speed reading
49:07 Are therapists trained to step out of a session?
54:17 Dr. Kirk's alterations to schema therapy
58:59 When should therapy begin?
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July 21, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So Bob, I've been running around all morning and haven't had time to pre-read these emails, |
| 0:06.0 | so this will be an adventure for both of us. |
| 0:09.2 | Yeah. |
| 0:09.9 | This first email is from Middle Tier Anonymous patron. |
| 0:12.5 | She writes, |
| 0:13.7 | Do you fight with your friends over interpersonal issues? |
| 0:19.2 | Like one of you perceives that the other one is ignoring |
| 0:23.7 | their needs or not treating them fairly I see so do you fight with your friends over your |
| 0:30.9 | relationship essentially right yeah I've recently been struggling with resentment towards a friend |
| 0:37.4 | I am close to and I feel like whenever I bring it up with them, it's either at the wrong time or I sound way harsher than I should. |
| 0:46.3 | I'm hoping for examples of a good model. |
| 0:50.6 | The reason I'm focusing on friendship conflicts is because I have a fear that the friend can just exercise the option of cutting me off if they feel like I'm too much or at the very least just choose to reduce the amount of time they spend with me. |
| 1:05.3 | It bothers me a lot, even though I know that these options are available to me too. |
| 1:10.2 | I also don't hear much about |
| 1:12.3 | how much interpersonal conflict. I also don't hear much about interpersonal conflict in a close |
| 1:19.5 | relationship is when it is too much, as opposed to it being very normalized and romantic relationships. I see. |
| 1:27.3 | So she's like, you know, it's normal. |
| 1:30.0 | People say marriages or work, but when it comes to friendships, people don't tend to talk about it that way. |
| 1:35.3 | Right. |
| 1:35.9 | If you are comfortable, would you be able to share your perspective and examples from your life, practice, life and practice on how you have navigated issues like this |
| 1:45.2 | and friendships before. Love your work. Bob, what do you think? Yeah, good question. I like this |
| 1:49.9 | question. So in terms of me personally, yeah, a couple times I've gotten into conflict with friends. |
... |
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