Hey, hey, it's the Friday Club.

The weekend's here getting that pub.

It's Friday Club.

Bing Bang Bosch!

With all of your favorites from under the castle,

so if you want to share a story or relive a form of glory,

fatter the wheat or clapping them cheeks

maybe you got caught by the mother-in-law

having a wank

it's all here on the Friday Club

it's all here on the Friday Club

I'm not messing about today lads

I'm going straight in any objections

I'm striking while the iron is hot

and this is in relation to parkey flattening somebody's auntie auntie shirley made me stir

parky's porridge hi lads long time tosser and blah blah blah.

Several years ago, on a lad's night out in Essex, I pulled a girl who invited me back to the Marriott

for an extra time struggle snuggle, which hopefully will lead to a penalty shootout.

She was a nice enough girl, probably a 6.5 out of 10, with the self-confidence of a 9.

Does that ring any bells to you? Were she overly confident?

Just read it out, let's get moved on.

The first half was quite even with both sides giving it a go.

...