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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 9.19.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2025

⏱️ 104 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo and SlimFast discuss transferring schools, and how Summer needs to improve her call screening. People like the taste of gasoline? And SlimFast tried anti-freeze. Slim gets upset looking at hate comments; Lazlo thinks he's a little bitch. An old lady got scammed by an ‘astronaut running out-of-oxygen,’ and sent over 6k. What were Lazlo and Slims’ dads’ common remedies when they got sick? In Headlines, Lazlo and SlimFast talk about how D4vd is starting to look really suspicious, the new information released about the guy who killed two officers, Candace Owens getting sued by the President of France, and much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:12.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:24.4

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:35.1

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.7

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.9

Yo!

0:48.9

My man, how are you?

0:50.2

Never better.

0:50.7

How about yourself?

0:51.2

I'm great.

0:51.7

No problems.

0:52.5

Glad to hear it.

0:54.0

Yep. Everyone's happy and healthy at home. Yeah, everybody's great. Good, glad. Did you watch the game last night? I didn't. My youngest played football last night, and they won. That's good. Oh, there you go, yeah. The underdogs? Yeah, I don't think, you know, like I said, I like, you know, this South football program, Sean Mission South, this coach, he's a good guy. And I, you know, they've been bad for so long, and I feel like he had to come in there and be like, oh boy. Because once you get so bad, I think he's been like maybe four years, you know, I don't But you know how know how high school is, man. If you, if you go into a program that's bad, especially high school football, you all of a sudden get a lot of kids like, I'm not playing that. It hurts. I don't really know how you take it. It sucks. And you get hurt and no one cares because we're better. You know what I mean? Like it builds on a stuff. you know what it is back you know what I mean like it builds on it stuff you know it is and you know

1:47.3

and it takes like you use some you know yeah the beginning of summer vacation like i get in here

1:53.3

and lift weights right you're a kid is like not interested right not interested to go out and play

1:59.1

this game where nobody comes we lose 50 to nothing every week, you know? So he's turned around. Last night they beat Gardner, which I don't think is happening forever. Really? Yeah, the freshman team. That's my youngest plays on. Maybe he's doing around. Gardner's a good team, huh? Yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they win state championships. I knew what you meant.

2:21.6

When you're a high school football coach and you come in, I know there's certain teams that do sort of recruit.

2:26.1

Yeah, man. Coach Foster, man, dudes. Well, if you're a public school. And you know me, man, I complain about coaches a lot. Yeah. And I'm like, no, come on.

2:34.6

This guy's legit.

2:35.5

He's good.

2:36.4

But how do you fix a public school? I understand that you can try and change the culture. I think that's what he did. But I think the other thing that he did... So you're trying to get kids to play who already go to school there that might not have wanted to play. Like he, you know, my homeless never played.

...

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