Friday 5: Checking Boxes vs. Owning Recovery
The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
Ashlynn Mitchell, Brannon Patrick, Coby Mitchell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 11 April 2017
⏱️ 5 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We are glad you found our season 1 episodes where we share early parts of our processes of learning about and exploring the impacts of betrayal on our relationship, and the challenges of healing both sides of the relationship after sex addiction and infidelity.
Our journey has taken us a long ways from the time we recorded these episodes, but many have still found help and hope for healing in the information. We hope you always seek healing first for yourself, and where possible for the relationship, though staying together or choosing divorce or separation can occur at the point of betrayal and at times even after healing from betrayal and addictions.
If you would like support in healing from betrayal we’d invite you to look at our program https://www.beyond-enough.com/beyondbetrayal
It is not a program about staying together or leaving your partner, but rather finding the healing we need as an individual who has been made aware of our partner cheating.
If you would like support from a licensed therapist contact Brannon’s office at www.utahtherapy.org
To find out about Ashlynn’s groups https://www.thisisashlynn.com/mentoring
To get support from Coby check out www.growwithcoby.com
Thanks for your continued support for the podcast throughout all of our journey.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What's up everybody? This is the Betray, the addicted, and the expert. My name is Brannon and I am the expert. |
| 0:11.0 | And I'm Ashland and I was the portrayed and I'm Kobe the recovering addict. |
| 0:17.6 | What you're going to get is three unique perspectives on recovery and |
| 0:21.9 | tools for hope and healing. |
| 0:28.0 | Hey guys, this is Kobe and I am the addicted. |
| 0:31.0 | My Friday 5 is about checking boxes or owning recovery. You know when I was first |
| 0:40.0 | starting recovery I realized that there was a threshold that I'd have to pass that |
| 0:46.8 | that went beyond checking boxes because what I what came to me in early recovery is that everything I was doing in therapy and an individual group and I did an individual group and I did essay for the first, well I did that to start recovery and it was really interesting because I realized very quickly that what I was really working towards was becoming a different person. And I couldn't be a different person if I |
| 1:16.3 | continued the same behaviors with the same characteristics. I knew I had to grow personally. |
| 1:22.3 | I had to grow in the quality of my character. I had to grow in the |
| 1:26.4 | character that I had. I had to grow in and develop my thoughts and my |
| 1:32.2 | desires and my actions. |
| 1:33.4 | All that stuff had to change. |
| 1:35.0 | And I knew it had to change. |
| 1:36.5 | And so because what I used to do was I used to check boxes. |
| 1:41.6 | And I would check boxes simply just to diffuse the |
| 1:46.8 | uncomfortable nature of a relapse or diffuse the uncomfortable nature of Ashland being triggered. I just didn't want to |
| 1:55.0 | I honestly just didn't want to deal with with Ashland being triggered. I didn't |
| 1:59.8 | want to deal with what that looked like, the backlash that it would have on me. |
| 2:04.8 | And I really, I was insanely codipendant because I would give Ashland partial truths, half |
| 2:10.8 | truths, or I would just straight lie because I didn't want to deal with what |
| 2:14.9 | truth meant what the outcome of truth was what the impact of truth was for Ashland so |
... |
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