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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday 2.27.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2026

⏱️ 123 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Everyone has one uniting want; To jack off and get high. Have you ever knowingly given someone an STD? The guys discuss the new Kansas law affecting transgender people's ID. What's moderate masturbation? The guys get excited for baseball. Gavin Rossdale calls in! In Headlines, Lazlo and SlimFast discuss the Deadpool Killer having a big fan base, Hilary Clintons’ deposition about Epstein, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.3

Blessed is he when the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children and I will

0:24.5

strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious hinder those who attempt to

0:31.2

poison and destroy my brothers and you will know my name is the lord when i lay my vengeance upon me ladies and gentlemen

0:43.1

the church of laslow has begun yo you how are you well i'm just great of course how are you

0:52.5

i'm fine man i feel like uh you know like mike tyson

0:59.1

getting between the ropes you know he doesn't want to do it anymore he still got a little

1:02.4

punch him he knows how to do it but he's just here for the money you're just not feeling that

1:09.4

way yeah yeah really hit me today i was like man

1:12.3

they always say why does he keep doing it and he's like i'm i need the goddamn money

1:17.1

yeah you got bills to pay you got it i hear you mike i mean i hear you i am mike i did have

1:24.3

the feeling last night you know as you are getting closer to to time to go to bed and you're thinking like, I do have to work, right?

1:32.5

I was thinking, do we have to work?

1:34.1

You know, I think four days is probably a good amount of work.

1:39.1

I'm not asking for the world to get perfect overnight.

1:41.9

I know that it can't be.

1:43.0

Obviously, in a perfect world, people could explore their whatever art uh sit around you want time so you can explore your

1:52.5

art i don't what people they want to do i won't masturbate and sleep i don't care what you do but

1:57.2

beautiful not work unfinished untapped potential friend is that what I'm looking at

2:02.7

over here I've just had time

2:04.7

to explore my art

...

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