Free Salt, Hidden Chimps, & Why Everyone Hates St. Louis
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2026
⏱️ 65 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It’s another beautifully unhinged daily comedy show, and the Rizz Show crew wastes absolutely no time proving why we can’t have nice things.
First up: the City of St. Louis tries to do something wholesome by offering free salt at firehouses so people can prep for icy sidewalks. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Commercial trucks immediately roll in, scoop up everything like it’s a Costco sample, and leave regular residents staring at empty piles wondering how humanity failed so fast. Libertarian pilot program: officially canceled.
Then we shift to hockey fashion crimes as Moon gets roasted for wearing a Blues jersey that apparently doesn’t meet corporate sponsor requirements. Nothing says “Stanley Cup pride” like being told to remove the most expensive shirt you own. Add cowboy hats, Monster Energy jokes, and a QuickTrip roast, and suddenly Blues Night is already off the rails.
Things only escalate from there. Remember Chimp Crazy? Of course you do. Tanya Haddock is back in the news, appealing her federal prison sentence after lying about a chimp’s death, hiding Tonka in a basement, and allegedly going on the run with him like some kind of primate-themed crime thriller. The crew debates whether “loving animals too much” is a legal defense while imagining U.S. Marshals finding a chimp in her prison cell.
From there, it’s census chaos. Missouri gained population — barely — and the crew tries (and fails) to guess how many people actually live in the state. Texas keeps stealing everyone, Idaho is apparently full of bunkers and cult vibes, and St. Louis gets dragged as one of the “ugliest cities in America” by a mystery comedian who clearly didn’t hit the Zoo (it’s free, by the way).
We wrap with Valentine’s Day pressure, lingerie shopping anxiety, nudie magazine nostalgia, and why buying your partner underwear is either romantic… or a trap.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The choice of lawyers is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. |
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| 0:45.3 | Little listener discretion is advised. |
| 0:51.3 | Vizuto. |
| 0:52.3 | Rizuto. |
| 0:53.3 | Roruto. Roruto Rizudo Rurudo Rurdo |
| 0:54.8 | All right |
| 1:08.8 | Hello |
| 1:09.9 | Hello |
| 1:09.9 | Hello |
| 1:10.0 | It is Uh It is a Thursday It is the 20th Thank you, Scott. You're welcome. Hello. Hello. |
| 1:11.8 | It is Thursday. It is the 29th day of January, and we are coming at you. |
| 1:19.0 | That's right. |
| 1:19.5 | Coming at you live from the Crevecourt Studios, the Point Studios here on Olive Boulevard. |
| 1:26.1 | Hope you're enjoying your Thursday morning so far, huh? Isn't it great? It's so great. It's coughing. Moon's got a cowboy hat on. He's ready to go right to the blues game. I'm ready to cruise, dude. Although. That's a look, isn't it? It is. He's got a... You look like the Cardinal Cowboy, only the Blues Edition. You know what? I thought the same thing. Well... So he's got his big Bennington jersey on. Right. That's not what I was looking for. What's wrong with that? St. Louis Blues, Brett Michaels. No, keep the cowboy hat on. What's wrong with that? You ruined it. What's wrong with you? |
| 2:01.6 | You ruined it all. |
| 2:02.4 | I was just going to compliment you. |
| 2:03.8 | You looked like a normal guy. Yeah, right. I was, I would say, that's a look. I look like a what? Now you just look like you're going to go get a... Now you look like you're in line and quick trip for a white monster energy. Yeah. Put the cowboy hat on. |
| 2:15.5 | Come on. |
| 2:16.1 | Put it back on. |
| 2:16.7 | What's wrong with the Cardinal Cowboy? |
... |
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