I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for Top Draw comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends of the TV Channel Day,

at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there, too.

I ran out of time, though.

Hello and welcome to Not the Weekend Podcast.

I'm Frank Skinner, absoluteradio, Gareth Emile, they're the basic ingredients. I would say some dope in a...

I've got some garrisons that are slightly grated over the show today. Some grated, because it's an ingredient.

Oh, yeah. I'm more of a garnish.

I'm more of an alf garnish. Sorry, I'm still slightly traumatized. I saw Emma, the producer's tattoo just before we started,

and we don't have that kind of relationship. It's the small of the back, but even so there's something intimate about it.

I didn't know she had a tramp stamp. She didn't seem the type.

Is that what they call it?

Very much so.

Well, she claimed. I said, oh, Emma, I saw your tattoo.

I felt I had to tell her otherwise it becomes a creeping tomory.

Do you know what?

Frank, now that was in her Scrafton days. That's her maiden name.

Oh, okay.

And she was a bit more tramp stamp Scrafton. Now she's Newman.

Yeah.

She's changed.

I don't know how to add it, but only if you could put a plaster. It's not big.

What does it say? Please turn over in Chinese.

...