I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two for one tickets for top draw comedy nights near you

thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave, an absolute radio.co.uk

Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there too.

I ran out of time though.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio

Welcome to the not the weekend podcast for Absolute Radio. I'm Frank Skinner

and I'm here with Emily and Gareth. Hello. Hi. And it's our last one with you, Frank, for ages.

It is. I don't even know if to meet with podcasts to continue

until I get back, I mean. But we'll see about that. But anyway, when's the morning?

Even that sound is slightly mournful. But hey, let's be open excited. What an event I had this week.

I ordered a whole crab. Wow. I was in a restaurant in Brighton

and I thought I haven't eaten a whole, well, I've never eaten a whole crab. My dad used to come back

from the pub on Saturday afternoon, often with a whole crab, which meant a very slow walk

and sideways. Just clutching it. Yeah, it was wrapped in newspaper.

And he used to sit and watch the sport, you know, the results and all the racing results and all that.

And he used to eat everything. I remember him cracking the very thinnest

elements of the crab. Yeah. And he used to get a little bit of crab out with a hair grip.

Did he? And he did a hole in the wood. You couldn't find a smear of white meat when he'd finished.

He used to sock, sock the pincers. I love that. I love fiddly food. Do you not? I like someone

to do the dressing for me. No, I said my favourite would be Blamonge. Anything more fiddly than that.

I'm not interested. I like chops. I've always liked the fact that chops come with a handle.

I like this 70s wedding. Blamonge and chops. People still eat chops.

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