Forge Majeure

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 March 2023

⏱️ 72 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jordan brings the case against his friend Jacob. Jordan and Jacob are both blacksmiths. Jacob has been Jordan’s apprentice for the past few years, and he says it’s time he gets a new title, like “journeyman.” Jordan says Jacob is still learning and needs more experience first! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, Forge
0:07.2	Majour. Jordan brings the case against his friend Jacob. Jordan and Jacob are both
0:12.8	blacksmiths. Jacob has been Jordan's apprentice for the past few years and says it's time he
0:19.2	gets a new title like Journeyman. Jordan says Jacob is still learning and needs more experience first.
0:26.9	Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the
0:32.1	courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference. I've never seen a steel butt forge weld like that
0:41.2	in a single hit and it wasn't odd enough and if you ever put wood next to something that hot,
0:47.2	it would disintegrate. But you don't hold it to such a high accountability because it's not real.
0:52.4	It's a tree dude giving his arm for a handle. I mean, you can't take it too seriously.
0:56.8	Bale of Jesse Thorn, please swear them in. Jordan and Jacob, please rise and raise your right hands. Do
1:01.7	you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever.
1:07.1	I do. How do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he
1:12.8	hasn't leveled up to the point where he can make Elvin or Orkish armor? I do. Yes. Judge Hodgman,
1:18.7	you may proceed. I can also make Chittin armor. I think it's some kind of bug bug. Yeah,
1:26.4	Chittin armor. Chittin is armor. Right. It's a bug armor for bugs. Stahl rim armor is another kind
1:34.0	I can make for what's some call from the dark crystal, the Garthrim. You might say they had
1:38.7	Chittin is armor, but they were just bugs. Right. But it's not fair, Jesse. Why would you put Orkish
1:44.7	armor and Elvish armor on the same level? Well, you have to level up. This is Skyrim talk, John.
1:50.8	Gather some lavender and call me back. But I have a feeling that both the master and the apprentice
1:56.0	blacksmith in this case are going to back me up that there's no comparison between Elvish and Orkish
2:01.3	armor. But before we talk to them about that, and maybe only that for the next hour or so.
2:06.6	Jordan and Jacob, you may be seated for me at summary judgment in one of your favors.
	...

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