That's the end.

Hi everyone, it's Sam here.

Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday.

Recently I was thinking back to a story I heard during a training.

I'll never forget hearing this story about how the Bobenba tribe in South Africa addresses

failures within their community.

When a person commits an unjust act, all of the members of the tribe gather to recall

all of the positive traits of the person as they spend days reminding them of their

innate goodness.

Wouldn't it be great if we could grant ourselves that same kind of compassion when we feel like

we've fallen short?

It's human nature to remain vigilant about our shortcomings because it ties directly

back to survival and our brain's negativity bias.

And this is especially true with social shortcomings.

The anxiety and awkwardness we may feel in social situations becomes a trait we focus

on because we know that social ties lead to connections, job opportunities, and bonds

that bring us joy and support in times of need.

The stakes are really high, so it's natural to fixate on our relationships with others.

The issue is that our brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagined threats,

and it reacts with a surge in stress hormones that can narrow our focus on what could go wrong,

instead of what can and often does go right.

We also inherit this tendency to be self-critical from our upbringing.

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