It's Mr. Schnoose, the manager of the Fluesville Factory with Flues News for today.

There's a lot of very important factory news to cover, including a message from

Luther in the Swoosh Room, some intriguing updates from Franny with the Lost and Found, and

we do have an exciting team building exercise, quote unquote, the Fluesville Factory baking competition.

How did I manage to approve that?

Anyway, first off, I want to let everyone know that the next two weeks will be set up for you to succeed

in producing as many FisBars as possible,

to catch up after...

Well, we'll talk about that soon enough.

Point is, this very morning I entrusted our imbecilic adventurers, Waffle and Martha,

to go on a vital mission.

I asked them to retrieve an important piece of equipment for me.

A paper clip. But not just any paper clip. It has to be seven foot tall, bright green, and covered in love notes from women lost at sea.

Goodness knows when exactly they'll return, but Martha packed a

sleeping bag, hiking boots, and three fake mustaches. Waffle packed a briefcase filled with unwrapped

Werther's originals. My guess is they'll be gone for at least two weeks. And honestly, whatever they come back with is fine with me.

All that matters is that they're gone now.

Can you hear that?

Ah, silence.

Now without any further ado, here we go.

On to the first news update.

A message from our very own swoosh room supervisor, Luther.

...