4.6 • 14.6K Ratings
🗓️ 3 September 2024
⏱️ 75 minutes
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0:00.0 | Happy day after Labor Day everybody. I am putting the Lab in Labor Day. I have |
0:20.7 | restarted this podcast. No joke six fucking times. I am having a problem with |
0:26.5 | lift off so buckle your seat belts grab your peanuts and your you know |
0:32.4 | ginger rail because this shit's going to be a clunky ride. I don't know |
0:37.7 | what's wrong with me. I do know what's wrong with me. It's a little 400 pound Michelin man baby that has taken a |
0:49.2 | goddamn turn. I thought that we had like kind of we had advanced past the disgruntled mother phase of my parenting journey |
1:00.8 | but alas al-Klyda is in town and he's a fucking dick. We've had the last tooth come in. |
1:09.1 | Here's the thing about my son. In my dreams, I would have a chill baby, you know, like chill, oh my God, he's so chill and he performs for guests. |
1:18.0 | So everyone thinks that Clyde is chill and oh my God, he's such happy baby look at him what a good boy and I'm like uh-huh because I want to keep |
1:27.0 | up public appearances and I don't want to betray him but the truth of the matter is that he is a |
1:32.1 | domestic one-man terrorist organization that goes |
1:35.8 | by the name Al-Qaeda. I was floating Osama bin Clyde in but that name has |
1:40.6 | already been assigned to my sister, Osama bin Linda. So Al-Qaeda just really rolls off the |
1:47.1 | tongue. And he is somewhat of an emotional terrorist. He is in a dry humping phase and he is in a |
1:55.2 | wants to crawl inside my vagina phase which I lo-he love, but he is particular, he is demanding, he is nady, he is spicy, and he's a fucking asshole, and it's a |
2:10.3 | fucking asshole and it's so cute but like for small windows of time so he's been you know he's |
2:17.6 | been an interesting kid these past three days did I take him to two carnivals this weekend? |
2:25.0 | Yeah, I did. |
2:26.0 | I took him to the Malibu Chili Cookoff |
2:29.0 | and I took him to a local Labor Day carnival experience. Okay, three days, two carnivals. I don't know what that |
2:38.8 | fucking says about me. The Malibu Chili Cookoff was for me. It was not for him because I love chili and more so than loving chili. I love a chili dog. |
2:49.7 | And I don't want to say that I'm an expert on the anatomy of the perfect chili dog, but you know when you see like a bohemian, like Malibu, Gentile struggling to top their chili, and then you feel like the light of God hit your |
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