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Bitch Bible

Fleur de Labor

Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.614.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2024

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jackie reminisces on childhood catfishing, chili dog psychology and more people, places and things she hates in honor of Labor Day!! Thank you for supporting my sponsors! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Visit www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE today to get 10% off your first month GDEFY Shoes: Enjoy a special summer offer of $20 off your order of $100 or more with code "Bible" at www.gdefy.com  Happy Mammoth: Visit www.happymammoth.com and use the code JACKIE at checkout to get 15% off your entire first order Honeylove: Get 20% off and treat yourself to the best bras on the market at www.honeylove.com/Bible  Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE at checkout for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE  Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you enter the promo code BIBLE at www.Nutrafol.com  Posh Peanut: Get 20% off your first order with promo code BIBLE at www.PoshPeanut.com/BIBLE 

Transcript

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0:00.0

Happy day after Labor Day everybody. I am putting the Lab in Labor Day. I have

0:20.7

restarted this podcast. No joke six fucking times. I am having a problem with

0:26.5

lift off so buckle your seat belts grab your peanuts and your you know

0:32.4

ginger rail because this shit's going to be a clunky ride. I don't know

0:37.7

what's wrong with me. I do know what's wrong with me. It's a little 400 pound Michelin man baby that has taken a

0:49.2

goddamn turn. I thought that we had like kind of we had advanced past the disgruntled mother phase of my parenting journey

1:00.8

but alas al-Klyda is in town and he's a fucking dick. We've had the last tooth come in.

1:09.1

Here's the thing about my son. In my dreams, I would have a chill baby, you know, like chill, oh my God, he's so chill and he performs for guests.

1:18.0

So everyone thinks that Clyde is chill and oh my God, he's such happy baby look at him what a good boy and I'm like uh-huh because I want to keep

1:27.0

up public appearances and I don't want to betray him but the truth of the matter is that he is a

1:32.1

domestic one-man terrorist organization that goes

1:35.8

by the name Al-Qaeda. I was floating Osama bin Clyde in but that name has

1:40.6

already been assigned to my sister, Osama bin Linda. So Al-Qaeda just really rolls off the

1:47.1

tongue. And he is somewhat of an emotional terrorist. He is in a dry humping phase and he is in a

1:55.2

wants to crawl inside my vagina phase which I lo-he love, but he is particular, he is demanding, he is nady, he is spicy, and he's a fucking asshole, and it's a

2:10.3

fucking asshole and it's so cute but like for small windows of time so he's been you know he's

2:17.6

been an interesting kid these past three days did I take him to two carnivals this weekend?

2:25.0

Yeah, I did.

2:26.0

I took him to the Malibu Chili Cookoff

2:29.0

and I took him to a local Labor Day carnival experience. Okay, three days, two carnivals. I don't know what that

2:38.8

fucking says about me. The Malibu Chili Cookoff was for me. It was not for him because I love chili and more so than loving chili. I love a chili dog.

2:49.7

And I don't want to say that I'm an expert on the anatomy of the perfect chili dog, but you know when you see like a bohemian, like Malibu, Gentile struggling to top their chili, and then you feel like the light of God hit your

...

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