Firstborn Parents & Having Fun

Focus on the Family Parenting Podcast

Focus on the Family

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.4 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 September 2022

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It's a common characteristic of firstborn children to be more of a rule follower personality. But no matter what your personality is, it's good to have fun with your children. John and Danny discuss how to have fun and ways to encourage your kids to be outward focused. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman and Jean Daly.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	It's a fairly common characteristic of first-born children to be more of a rule
0:08.0	follower than their younger siblings. Now I had a conversation with one of my kids friends the other day and I said you come from a family with seven kids where are you in the birth order and he said well I'm too crazy to be a firstborn meaning firstborn kids follow all the rules and he said
0:24.6	I'm not crazy enough to be the last. So I thought that was a pretty insightful
0:28.4	conversation with him. Well I'm John Fuller along with my focus colleague
0:32.2	Dr. Danny Danny it's pretty common I think for
0:38.0	Parents to be kind of a combination of rule followers and not rule followers you're right you're right it's very very
0:44.6	common it's a balancing of that family system right initially it's very
0:48.0	attractive the ones that are rule followers want to know how to not be so uptight with rules and they like that.
0:55.4	They like somebody that's bold and able to not follow every single rule and then the
1:01.2	non-rule follower finds the real follower kind of attractive.
1:04.7	They're going, wow, okay, I want a little bit more of that structure.
1:07.0	Yeah.
1:08.0	And so it initially is attractive and that's what drives them crazy down the road when they're trying to parent
1:14.0	or try to figure out their their their faith and their values of the home and I
1:18.9	recently spoke at a few different conventions and a family camp and this came up often where a mom or a dad would come and say
1:28.4	Can you just help us out here? I'm the rule usually the rule followers the one that comes to speak to me and then they say okay my spouse
1:37.5	Not so much they don't they don't follow the rules how do we navigate this when we're trying to parent our kids and guide them in a
1:43.3	direction that we're both agreeing on and so yeah it was it's it's a great
1:48.6	conversation to have as a couple sometimes couples can get stuck. Yeah well let's go ahead and hear from Dr Kevin Lehman now.
1:55.8	He is so well known for speaking about birth order and how birth order plays a role in our parenting. He talked with Jim and Gene
2:04.0	daily about how parents who like rules can learn to take themselves a little less
2:08.8	seriously. So what do we do knowing this and it's predictability because that's what's genius about it.
	...

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