Finland Doesn’t Exist with Beth May

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

4 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2018

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Finland! It’s the wacky Scandi country we all know and love. But whatever you think you know about Finland, throw it out the window like a package of rotten lingonberries. Because the country? It doesn’t exist. This week, Beth May stops by Lizard People HQ to educate us all about the secret pact between Japan and the USSR to fish the Baltic Sea restriction free by pretending that there’s a country there. Thinks that’s crazy? Wait til you hear about Katelyn’s grandma!

Transcript

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0:00.0	The Hi, welcome to Lizard People. This is a show where we talk all about conspiracy theories,
0:22.2	crazy people, and kooky ideas. all about what's going on behind the scenes.
0:25.0	I'm your host Caitlin Hampstead.
0:29.7	Let's get to the show. Real Talk. I saw a like a one of those found posters and it was for like a rabbit down the street and I'm like how
0:59.3	like probably easier to find like God than a small rabbit in LA but the reason that it
1:07.8	struck me is bizarre is because on my street there's like found small tortoise and I'm like how does this I guess
1:16.9	the main question is like how do you know that's not just an outdoor tortoise like
1:20.6	how you know that's a pet like he could just be living his life and you snatched him up I don't well like it would be weird if you found like a Galapagos tortoise like
1:30.0	I don't think 600. It would be weird.
1:33.0	That would be unsettling.
1:34.0	I'd be like, mom, can I keep it?
1:37.2	It will outlive us all.
1:38.9	Like, there, yeah.
1:41.0	Oh man, I just found out that parrots live like 90 goddamn years.
1:44.3	What? Yeah, if you get a parrot, you're screwed forever.
1:47.6	You can never, and they love you.
1:50.3	Like they only want to be around you. Oh, that's the only thing that would make me be like a
1:57.3	a human mom. If I were like if I were married to a man who wanted a parrot I'd be like no honey
2:06.2	The only way to save our marriage is children
2:09.5	Yeah, I'm in children because then at 18 you can be like well see every couple weeks.
2:14.3	And you can have more until you can't like I be really distressed by a parrot
2:19.9	person who's like I gotta catch them all this is like you have six parrots if you have six kids yeah
	...

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