Hi, this is Janet Lansfrey. Welcome to Unruffled. Well, I'm excited today because our parent reached out to me with a question,

and this question is so great because on one hand, it's sort of just fine-tuning her approach,

which is already very much in a positive

direction with her children.

And so in a way, this seems like a small detail.

But another way to see this is that this little detail is everything.

This will make all the difference in this parent's comfort and setting boundaries,

having disciplined work with her children, and the most important thing, helping her feel

really, really good about what she's doing. We all deserve that. So here's her note.

Hi Janet, a huge thank you for all the work you put into supporting family. So here's her note. Hi, Janet.

A huge thank you for all the work you put into supporting families.

I love your books and look forward to your podcast coming out each week.

Most notably, your approach helped us navigate a really tricky transition with our first

daughter after our second was born.

This manifested in a lot of aggression towards the baby,

i.e. trying to gouge her eyes out, eke, and your guidance helped us stay calm and empathetic

while striving to keep everyone safe. The baby is now a year, and while we still have some

sibling scuffles, which I'm sure will continue in some form their

whole lives, ha, I now feel safe leaving them playing at a room together. At times I thought we'd

never get here. Thanks to you, we did this without punishing or shaming my oldest just by being a steady

anchor for her while her world felt tumultuous. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm writing with a

question regarding boundaries and the language used to set them. I was an elementary school teacher

...