We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 467.EC 0306.

Certificate number 23621.

Fiji's Declaration of Independence. Do you know where your birth certificate is?

If you had to show you

and you had my mind for,

sake, lama my miteful,

so, okay, sake,

sake, so gee, so you know where your birth certificate is?

Like if you had to show your birth certificate for something,

which I don't know why you would, I mean clearly you exist.

I can access it.

It is not, I don't have it on my person or in a file cabinet nearby.

But you know which giant plastic tub it's in?

Yeah, I can, I can find my birth certificate. Yeah, I have seen it. Is it the original one? Yeah. It's issued by the by the state by the great state of Washington and is it old time. Yeah Yeah it is 1968. I went through a phase in my late teens

where I wanted a fake ID and I didn't want it to go to bar in order to go to bars or buy alcohol.

You wanted to do the Book of the Month Club?

No, I wanted it because I wanted to be a spy that had fake IDs.

...