Festivals

Three Bean Salad

Comedy

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for bloody everything these days and they’re not like they used to be even the ones that didn’t exist previously probably but you can’t even say that in public most likely and so and so forth.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Here comes Steve, with the satisfied smile of a man who's checking out at midday after a great night's sleep and a delicious unlimited brecky.
0:10.0	See the untamable bedhead here, and if you look really close, you can see that properly well-rested glow,
0:17.0	which can only mean one thing.
0:19.0	Last night he slept at Premier Inn.
0:22.3	Get better sleep for your money.
0:24.3	Premier Inn.
0:25.3	Rest easy.
0:27.0	Breakfast subject to availability.
0:28.7	Tees and Cs apply.
0:39.6	Here's a question, Mike.
0:42.3	Do you shampoo the tash with anything?
0:42.8	Yes.
0:46.8	Do you use hair shampoo or special homemade shampoo?
0:48.2	Or special tash shampoo?
0:51.4	I will use a standard shampoo, yeah.
0:52.3	Dog shampoo?
0:54.4	Yeah, dog shampoo, whatever's going really. Whatever hasn't run out, basically. Okay shampoo? Yeah, dog shampoo. Whatever's going, really.
0:57.2	Whatever hasn't run out, basically.
0:57.7	Okay.
0:59.7	That has a detergent quality in the house.
1:00.7	Very liquid in a squeeze?
1:01.5	Yeah.
	...

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