Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest, Baylor Paul F. Tompkins.

This week, Philly's Gravy Toss. Nissa brings the case against her brother, Rolland. They've

decided to break family tradition this year and do something different for Christmas. Nissa

wants to host a gathering at her house. Rolland wants to start a new tradition of seeing

a certain series of movies about space battles. Each thinks their own version would be the

ideal Christmas. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge

John Hodgman enters the courtroom and issues the obscure cultural reference. He brings it up again.

The famous Apple Crisp incident of 2010. He motions for more gin. He loudly criticizes your cousin,

Jane, who cries all the time anyway. And then he borrows Nana's car and staggers in at 3 a.m.

with a new girlfriend. This one barely speaks. She studies cosmetology at Pismo Beach and

she's got a Hitler neck tattoo. You know your Judge John is going to ruin Christmas again.

Please don't invite Judge John. You know Judge John is going to make a mess of things. We

won't feel better until he's gone. Guest, Baylor Paul F. Tompkins, would you please swear in this

week's litigants? You got a Judge. Nissa and Rolland, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever?

We do. I do.

Yes, please speak for yourselves. That's how swearing in works. You can't do a blanket swearing to an oath.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling?

I do. I also do.

I threw a little sauce on it. Thank you. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

Nissa and Rolland, you may be seated. First of all, may I just say hello to Guest,

Baylor Paul F. Tompkins, Paul. Thank you for joining us here in the virtual courtroom of fake law

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