Feeling like a monkey head in a piranha tank
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Joey Coco Diaz
4.8 • 18.8K Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2026
⏱️ 83 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE from Joey's basement. The duo discuss what they would each be like as a security guard, why Joey never taught a stand up class, and Lee makes a confession to Joey about the end of their time in LA.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Kick this motherfucker, Meal Lee. |
| 0:05.0 | What's happened, beautiful people? |
| 0:07.0 | Uncle Joey here with Bruce Lee Jr. Kato. |
| 0:10.0 | And it's the church of what's happening now, New Testament, January the 19th. |
| 0:15.0 | What's up, dog? |
| 0:16.0 | It's almost your birthday. |
| 0:18.0 | That's a month away, but who cares about my birthday? |
| 0:20.0 | I'm not thinking about my birthday. My birthday. I away, but who cares about my birthday? I'm not going to be a problem. |
| 0:21.4 | My birthday. I'm not even thinking about my fucking birthday right now. The reason why we're in the voodoo lounge and not in the back cave today is because I fucked up my knee. And I won't know what's going on until Wednesday. I couldn't go to Austin this week. I couldn't do shit. I couldn't do, uh, are you garbage? Are you garbage? |
| 0:37.6 | So I'm very sorry, but the fucking knee just popped out again. I was going to tell people that we got, remember when we got kicked out of that first office? Because we, because Felipe his bars was screaming. Yeah. And they kept, I thought I was going to say that we got kicked out of that office. They smelled the weed. |
| 1:12.7 | They don't give a shit in this office. No, nobody gives a shit in the song. LA, they cared a lot. We got, they threw away our bongs in L.A. Do you remember that? Because we got so high. He left them in the bathroom. They threw away bongs. But that was a very rare fucking place. I just somebody sent me that video which one |
| 1:13.9 | Oh |
| 1:14.1 | Felipe but that was a very rare fucking place. I just somebody sent me that video. Which one? A Felipe and off the room. The ladies bang on the door and we'll like, shut the fuck off. Yeah. I smell marijuana. You can't because we, there was not even a window in that office. No, there wasn't a C. You couldn't move. Couldn't move. It was a table and four chairs. That was it. Dude, because I think they made it. Like, they cut two offices and they took one office. They made it into two because, like, they had, I didn't know this back then, but they only had like the intake for the air conditioning. They didn't have the out, like the air coming out. |
| 1:44.6 | It's like when they sit, they have a junior one bedroom and they just put up a fake wall. |
| 1:49.9 | Yeah. |
| 1:50.3 | Like cardboard. |
| 1:51.7 | No. |
| 1:52.8 | Dog, I went to look at an office in North, North Hollywood. |
| 1:56.3 | By that barbecue place. |
| 1:57.5 | Yeah. |
| 1:57.8 | Remember that barbecue place? |
| 1:58.9 | Fuck yeah. |
... |
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