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Typology

Feeling Different? A Deep Dive into the Enneagram 4 Experience with Dudley Delffs

Typology

Ian Morgan Cron

Christianity, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality

4.7 • 3.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 March 2026

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There are some conversations that don't just inform you—they find you. This was one of those for me.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Dudley Delffs—author, therapist, and a fellow self-preservation Four—and what unfolds is less of an interview and more of an honest, unguarded conversation between two people who've spent a lifetime trying to tell the truth about their lives…and sometimes wondering what it costs to do that.

We talk about the long journey of being a Four—the early years of feeling different, the instinct to hide parts of your story, and the slow, sometimes painful work of learning how to bring those parts into the light. Along the way, we wander into territory that might feel familiar: creativity, envy, addiction, belonging, and that quiet, persistent question many of us carry: What have I done with my life?

And yet, this isn't a heavy conversation—it's a human one. There's laughter, there's tenderness, and there are a few moments where something deeper breaks through…the kind of moments that remind me why I love doing this work in the first place.

If you've ever felt like you don't quite fit—even in rooms where you clearly do…
If you've wrestled with whether your story is too much—or somehow not enough…
Or if you're trying to make peace with your past without losing who you are in the process…

I think this conversation might meet you right where you are.

Come listen.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

A typology friends. I'm really stoked about today's conversation because it's with an old

0:08.0

friend of mine and who has recently come back into my orbit in the last few years. And

0:13.6

Dudley Doves is a self-preservation for. He's an author. He's a award-winning poet. He's a

0:20.5

novelist. He's a tremendous human

0:22.2

being. And I just have been looking forward to talking to another four of my age about the journey

0:31.1

of being an enneagram for from the Time Our Kids to the Present Day. Dudley, welcome to the show.

0:38.4

Thank you so much, Ian.

0:39.7

I'm thrilled to be here,

0:40.9

and I'm looking forward to this conversation as well.

0:44.0

Man, I want to just say,

0:45.9

I was thinking about something earlier today,

0:48.4

and that is you wrote a book a zillion years ago

0:53.6

that I read, and the memory of that book is sitting on my

0:58.8

shelf in fact you cannot get it on Amazon anymore because I checked and that is the novel

1:04.3

forgiving August forgiving August yes first thing I ever wrote and had published.

1:11.4

Yes.

1:12.0

And I remember reading that book and all these many years later, I'm not, this is no BS.

1:17.6

I still think about that book from time to time.

1:20.7

It is a very four book, too, I might add.

1:24.0

If you didn't know you were a four then, you could look back and read that book and go,

1:28.5

damn, that was a four. How old were you when you wrote Forgiving August?

1:32.3

I was 25 years old when I started writing it and 27 when I finished and it was published shortly after that.

...

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