February 13, 2008 – Part 1

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2008

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke bought the Vampire Weekend album today, but it sounds suspiciously like a Paul Simon record of yesterfar.

The audio from Roger Clemen's testimony today seems to have a connection to Cocoon, the movie...we'll explain.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Too Beautiful to Live with Luke Burbank on News Talk 710, Cairo.
0:09.8	The world is getting so much cooler. Even now, women are flying airplanes and deciding
0:18.3	when to execute people. It's getting sweeter.
0:23.3	Nobody buys me. Nobody buys me.
0:29.1	I started trembling and I turned into a gremlin.
0:34.2	Keep talking to us, David Blaine. Keep acting with us.
0:36.9	Because guess what? It's illegal. It's literally a legal.
0:40.6	Actually, the place just burnt down. I'm amidst a bunch of rubble lands got a broken
0:45.2	leg. So no news at the bottom of the hour. Sorry.
0:48.6	Drunk people are so meta.
0:51.6	The finest street legal antiperspirate you can get outside of Mexico that's not poisonous.
0:57.0	Oh, wait. Is that what Roger Clemens was shooting in his bottom so he could be so good
1:01.2	at pitching?
1:04.2	The sweat is caused by millions of tiny sweat glands dropping a douce. Fascinating.
1:10.4	This is TBTL, the show that much like Roger Clemens, 354 wins, 4,672 strikeouts and
1:19.6	well, in all likelihood, his marriage turned out to just be too beautiful to live.
1:25.6	I'm Luke Burbank. Think of me as the Gaylord Perry of this show.
1:31.2	Yeah, I cheated my way to 300 wins, but in a lovable, spit-bolly kind of way.
1:36.7	Wanging at 187 pounds, that's down a half pound from yesterday.
1:41.6	And well, debajo, day 190 pounds. Which, as you all know, is my personal goal for
1:49.1	well the rest of my life.
1:51.1	Ken Andrews are a little Mark Langston, attractive, physically gifted, lefty.
	...

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