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For Crying Out Loud

FCOL Old Skool: There's No Valet at the Park

For Crying Out Loud

For Crying Out Loud

Kids & Family, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.53.8K Ratings

🗓️ 16 April 2026

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

2020! We hate the park! Including Caelan!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Made a disingen

0:03.5

I'll face the sunniest sunhead on

0:08.6

I had a vision

0:10.6

What it might be like

0:15.2

To reach

0:16.7

It's for Cry Now Loud

0:19.5

It sure is

0:20.5

I'm back, bitches. Yay! Woo!

0:22.9

Yay! Woo! How's it going? It's the day after July 4th. It's Stephanie's birthday. It's my actual

0:30.5

birthday today. I hate my birthday, though. Why? I don't just don't like it. Happy birthday. How do you

0:34.9

do you like your birthday? I used to like it.

0:38.2

When you're a little. When I was young, yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's really just marks another day on the slow trudge to death. Right. I'm getting old. I don't like it. I'm like, can we just freeze time? Yeah. I mean, I was just thinking today, it was like, okay, today's July 5th.

0:58.3

I'm like, it's already July 5th.

1:00.6

I feel like it was like June 1st, like yesterday.

1:04.5

I know.

1:05.3

You know, I mean, it was like days just go by so fast.

1:09.4

I know everybody says it, but it's true.

1:11.4

What do they say that when you're, when you have young kids, what would they say the days

1:15.4

are long, but the years are short? Right. Yeah, some they say something like that. But now

1:20.7

it's all short. It's all short. So I was thinking today that like when the kids were young, every day felt like, I don't want to say a struggle because it wasn't that. But it's just like every day felt like, oh my God, okay, we have to get through another day. Okay, what are we going to do to keep these kids busy? Yes. And now I don't even know where my kids are half the fucking time. I'm like, what? Do I even have kids? Where are you guys? They're either in their room with the door shut, like, you know, all day long. Right. Sleeping till noon. Sadie will sleep until one, if you let her. Elby's been with some friends in Ohio. She gets back today. She's living her best life. Elby is living her best life at all times. What does she have on the agenda for this summer?

2:03.8

She's going to camp, right?

2:05.0

She had nothing, but then all of a sudden she's like the busiest person on the planet.

...

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