Farting On A Train Until Someone Stops Us | The Official Podcast

The Official Podcast

Comedy

4.9 • 7.5K Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2026

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Get an extra four months of EXPRESSVVPN for free: go to https://www.expressvpn.com/official Get additional episodes and bonus content with early access (try now with 7 DAYS FREE): go to https://www.OFFICIAL.men Three close man-friends gather to talk about dates. This is the Official Podcast. Every Tuesday. Links Below. THE OFFICIAL NETWORK CHANNEL (SUBSCRIBE NOW): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcHYe-Qw7qUN5gFWMdj9nNw Episode 475: Recorded 03/02/26 --- Get additional episodes and bonus content with early access: Go to https://www.OFFICIAL.men or https://www.PATREON.com/THEOFFICIALPODCAST --- Timestamps: [00:00:31] Intro[00:01:04] Pink eye speedrun[00:25:25] The Zuckerberg poop portrait[00:35:37] MTG shareholders sue over overprinting[00:49:55] Simple over flashy[00:53:48] Gaming: Marathon, High Guard, and the hero‐shooter fatigue[01:09:20] Outro --- Audio Platforms (Spotify, Apple, Amazon, & Castbox): https://linktr.ee/theofficialpodcast Other Shows: https://linktr.ee/theofficialnetwork --- Hosts: Jackson: https://twitter.com/zealotonpc Andrew: https://twitter.com/huggbeestv Kaya: https://twitter.com/kayaorsan --- Additional Links: Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcHYe-Qw7qUN5gFWMdj9nNw Subreddit: https://reddit.com/r/theofficialpodcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theofficialpodcast Intro by: https://www.youtube.com/c/Derpmii Music by: https://soundcloud.com/inst1nctive & https://www.instagram.com/00zaya Art by: https://www.instagram.com/nook_eilyk/ & https://www.instagram.com/vaux.z Edited by: https://www.instagram.com/00zaya Designer: http://www.jr-design-co.com/ Produced by Jackson Clarke for The Official Network Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm You know,
0:03.0	I'm going to What's up, gang? Hello, official podcast, super fans out there.
0:34.4	People still tuning into the official podcast.
0:36.4	Hope we haven't let you down.
0:37.7	And I hope this week's episode continues that trend of never letting a single person in our
0:43.3	audience down. I'm glad that you guys are here. I'm glad that Andrew and Kaya are here as well.
0:49.7	What are we talking about today? I'm also glad to be here. I'm glad you mentioned that, Jackson.
0:55.1	I hate my life.
0:56.3	Sometimes I feel let down by you, but that's okay.
0:59.5	When was the last time you felt left down by me?
1:02.8	When you got pink eye last week?
1:06.9	We were talking in the post show about pink eye.
1:09.9	How easy. Like, if we tried to speed run getting Pink Eye, how quickly do you think we would be out to achieve doing that?
1:18.0	It's a good question, because what I imagine the protocol would be for us is, let's say I want to give Pink Eye to Kaya, I would fart in a hermetically sealed jar with like medical waste logos and whatnot on it.
1:29.7	And then they would mail it to him like that special concocted brain formula in pluribus for that girl in the last episode.
1:37.1	And then Kaya would stand around his friends and family and go, okay, this is it.
1:40.9	And then open it and smear it on his face.
1:42.7	So I guess it's the time of shipping,
1:46.2	the time of me getting the right materials, and the time of Kaya receiving it and
1:51.7	smashing it in there. Yeah, this might be an insane question, but does Farts have a shelf
1:57.8	life? That's a very good question, actually.
2:01.0	Like, was the best before date on them or used by date on farts?
	...

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