It is time for fan mail Fridays. I'm your host, AJ Harvager sitting in for Jordan, and I'm here with producer Jason DeFilippo.

We'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right now if you're new to the art of charm podcast. This isn't the greatest place to start listening.

Most of our content is more in depth and a much longer format than this so be sure to check out the best of at the art of charm calm slash best.

Or the fundamentals toolbox at the art of charm calm slash toolbox will send all of this to your inbox if you text charmed that is C.H.A.R.M.E.D. 2 3 3 4 4 4.

Again, if you text charmed 3 3 4 4 4 we'll send this straight to your inbox there you'll find fundamentals of body language nonverbal communication traction negotiation networking etc.

And everything else that we teach here at the art of charm. All right, let's cut to it. Dear AOC my boyfriend's been needing space recently and that's fine, but it's come on the heels of a really tough time in our relationship.

In the way he's been communicating his need to me has been to withdraw physical contact and conversation basically to cold shoulder me to make me feel unwelcome when I'm around.

I've got my own place and I'm fine with space it's healthy and I need it too, but it can't be communicated like this. I've tried to talk to him repeatedly, but he's so reticent that it's a fight to get him to engage and he calls me emotionally controlling after a painful argument neither of us desired.

I just want to stand up for myself. I don't want to be subjugated to his treatment without my voice being heard, but he keeps being neglectfully withdrawn.

I would do anything to save our relationship except bite my tongue to his stony face apparently please help heartbroken.

All right heartbroken I can definitely feel your pain and I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this situation. It is truly awful.

I know because I went through it myself after losing my father while I was in a relationship with who's now my ex girlfriend.

I became very withdrawn and you silence as a weapon and ultimately it just built a boatload of resentment from her and ended up ruining our relationship.

Unfortunately this is very destructive behavior that you should not submit yourself to. No one should have to put up with the silent treatment or being so withdrawn with someone that they love.

If you've talked openly and honestly about it and it sounds like you have and he continues to disrespect you it is time to move on.

I know that we try very hard to hold on to things that used to be good but this relationship is in a death spiral and you already know it.

So it's time to be strong enough to actually walk away every relationship goes through ups and downs I totally understand that but if one party in the relationship has been honest and said hey I need this from you.

I need this to change and the other party is unwilling to even listen to that. That it is time for you to find someone who is willing to commit to you who is willing to treat you respectfully.

This behavior is not respectful in the least and it is time for you to move on.

Hey guys your podcast rocks. I've even gone as far as to forward an episode or two to my girlfriend's mother the most outstanding kindergarten teacher in existence.

I'm a first year grad student from a suburban middle class family my younger brother in his junior year of high school looks up to me to a frightening degree.

As the elder sibling I see this my mission to become the most positive influence as possible towards him.

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