Time for fan mail Friday where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right if you're new to the art of charm podcast. This is not a great place to start most of our content is more in depth and longer formats a check out the best of at the art of charm dot com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the art of charm dot com slash toolbox there we've got the fundamentals of body language and nonverbal communication attraction negotiation networking and everything else we teach here at the art of charm. Alright let's cut to it.

Dear Jordan I just don't have time for dating scratch that I don't have the energy for it. I'm a massive workaholic and most of my free time is spent drinking alone or having horrible panic attacks.

I really want to get off the hamster wheel for a little bit but I don't really see how that's possible at this point in my life. What do I do signed rat racing.

Hey man you sound a little bit like Charlie home friend of mine. It's a guy we also interviewed on the show as well. Here are the main things that you need to look at.

Don't think about giving up your career is an end to itself but do consider how you can have a better work life balance which is something that I'm sort of a in a love hate relationship with myself hit the gym religiously every day after work.

It'll help you get some of that negative energy and stress out of your body and about to do that right after this and when you have fun allow yourself to actually have fun.

Don't stress over other stuff and think you should be doing that instead and see a doctor about your nutrition.

Your anxiety might actually be triggered by something you're eating or not eating believe it or not and those are just a few things to get started but listen to the podcast for more check out the Charlie home episode. It's kind of an oldie but it's a goodie.

Good morning Jordan. I hope this finds you well. I have a friend who's greatly talented and passionate but she seems unable to break out of a cycle of despair and procrastination.

She keeps coming to me for advice motivation and input and it seems that no change ever gets made. She musters the energy to try and make positive changes to her habits but then never changes them.

I'm at the point where I just want to tell her you're clearly beyond my ability to help stop wasting my time. I want to see her prosper but it seems like such a lost cause. What are your thoughts?

I imagine you've been through similar situations with people who get all hyped up to change but then never do sincerely end of his rope.

Hey man, I don't blame you for being a little bit at the end of your rope. This is super super annoying and not even just it's a level beyond annoying because it's draining what you need to do unfortunately in situations like this is often set boundaries.

It's something that you need to do that you need to let people vent right your friends and relationships they need to vent but they can't get advice if they won't follow it because they don't really want advice in this case. They just want a vent and

they can only vent a certain amount otherwise they overstep and it becomes a negative weight on you so you have to limit your exposure to them to limit that weight if the boundaries don't work and the boundary sometimes might even be that you can't hang out with them as much and it's unfortunate but start with boundaries then limit exposure really she needs you so cutting her out might be too extreme.

But your sanity in the end matters more than her feelings so let that sink in your sanity matters more than her feelings but start with boundaries then limit time and then if it just can't get any better than that you're about to freaking hang yourself because you can't deal with any more than you're going to have to cut her out of your life at least for a little while.

Good morning Jordan man people really like to write us in the mornings I want to start off by saying thank you ever since I stumbled upon your podcast I've learned so much.

I'm more aware of what I'm thinking and I definitely have more confidence around women I'm married but still lol my friends family rich people strangers basically I feel like I can handle myself around anyone so again I thank you and I refer your podcast to anyone I see that wants to become a better person.

I'm going to be 37 and a week I have a healthy happy life for the most part and I feel like I quote unquote get it in life every day I try to be a better person to myself my wife in my family.

Here's my dilemma I've worked for a huge phone company for 15 years it's a great job and has helped me to live the life I have today the problem is that it's evolving and there have always been issues between my union in the company.

I'm a hard worker and I take pride in my work regardless of how hard the company makes it for us to do our job we're currently working without a contract and the things the company is making us do has killed the morale here.

I've been miserable since I was forced to do work at a new location and there is no way to transfer out basically I feel very stressed and stuck mentally broken and I don't want to live life like this anymore I went from hoping to retire here to thinking of new ways to leave this company with similar paying benefits I do have options I'm a black belt in the martial arts a personal trainer and my number one passion is being a DJ although I have gigs every weekend I don't see leaving my job to be a full time DJ.

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