Time for fan mail Fridays where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.

If you're new to the Art of Charm podcast, this isn't the best place to start. Most of our content is much more in depth and longer format.

So check out the best of at the Art of Charm.com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the Art of Charm.com slash toolbox.

There we've got the fundamentals of body language, nonverbal communication, attraction, negotiation, networking, and everything else we teach here at the Art of Charm.

Alright, let's cut to it.

Alright, our first question this week. How should I deal with overwhelming envy I feel toward people who I perceive is better than me in some way?

If I listen to a great musician, I become overwhelmed with envy. I realize that I will probably never be as great a musician and it makes me feel almost sick with envy.

Same thing happens when I watch a movie. If an actress is more beautiful than I am, and they almost always are, I feel envious and that it's incredibly unfair that I'm not as beautiful as they are,

that I could never experience being that beautiful. I'm generally a very envious person and I feel like it's poisoning my life.

First of all, props for having the guts to ask this. A lot of people would never put themselves on the line to mention as much.

And it's not a flattering thing. So I totally understand where you're coming from.

The good news is that realizing this envy is destructive is a great first step towards trying to change your mindset here.

I'm around tons of great people who are super smart, they're super successful, and they're often obsessed with comparing themselves to others,

and feeling like the other guy or girl has some sort of unfair advantage.

This has helped their competitive spirit, but it has also gone way off the reservation and makes them pretty bitter and angry, no matter what they themselves achieve,

which is really disappointing to everyone around them, that's for sure, and to themselves.

Some people get this behavior from their parents and others learn at some place else along the way, especially if you're a high achiever that is now surrounded by other high achievers,

but didn't necessarily grow up that way. You know, you find yourself in this new competitive environment that you're not used to,

and it's really easy to instead of being the smartest kid in school be somewhere in the middle of the pack,

and it's not a good feeling if that's what you're used to.

So the key here is to break the cycle and focus on your own talents and your own achievements,

forget about others for now. The problem with comparison is we're always comparing our blooper reel with someone else's highlight reel.

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