Time for fan mail Friday where I'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.

If you're new to the Art of Charm podcast, this is not the greatest place to start.

Most of our content is much more in depth.

There's a lot longer format stuff out there, so check the best of at the Art of Charm.com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the Art of Charm.com slash toolbox.

That's where we've got the fundamentals of body language and nonverbal communication, attraction, negotiation, networking, and everything else we teach here at the Art of Charm.

Alright, let's cut to it.

Jonathan says, I'm a huge fan of the podcast and I found this week's fan mail Friday particularly interesting.

This is actually a couple of weeks ago. He says, I realize when you're talking about the red flags and people acting in a controlling way, I sometimes behave like that.

If you have any suggestions for how to feel less insecure and start acting in a more positive way towards people I'm in a relationship with, I'd love to hear them.

Now actually Jonathan, this isn't really good question. First of all, yeah, of course we have tons of stuff on confidence and being less insecure in relationships.

The toolbox is probably the best place to do that. I don't know if Jonathan if you've listened to all those episodes yet, but I would start there.

That said, the red flags list, the whole issue with all the different sort of lists of controlling behaviors.

If you're doing that stuff occasionally, it's called being human. Don't worry.

Doing one of those things some of the time or all of those things even on rare occasions, it doesn't mean that you're controlling and you're abusive and you're a bad person.

I mean, there's probably some stuff in that it's more heinous than others. I can't remember off the top of my head, but this is totally normal.

So unless you are combining a lot of these things, it's not one thing. It's a combination.

If you're doing them habitually or more often than not, and it's not just the occasional jealous slip, then I would definitely look into seeking help on that.

But if it is just a little jealous slip, it's totally normal. I'm guilty of it just like everybody else.

And the fact that you're even worried about this enough to ask me and ask us indicates that your intention with this is not to be controlling.

It's not to be jealous and crazy. So you don't have a whole lot to worry about.

If you're doing this in all of your relationships, like if you're ruining all of your intimate relationships with every past five girlfriends, you've looked in their phones or been controlling or things like that, then yes.

Then you have a pattern. That means it's a problem. But if it's just something that happens here and there, totally normal party humanity, Jason, am I leaving anything out?

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