You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

Each week, we dive into topics that reflect something of what it means to foster hope and

healing in a world so in need of restoration. These conversations grow out of the work we do

with individuals and communities across the country,

which you can learn more about at the Allender Center.org.

As I've implied, there is no way to deal with failure entirely on your own. Because failure

is a form of trauma that evokes, provokes shame, we don't deal with shame alone. We need others to engage our failures, and no one better for me to invite into that

process than my beloved wife, who has seen way more failure on my part than yours. I think

every marriage has somebody who's more of the screw up.

I don't know if that's the case. I think being human means we are going to fail. And sometimes

we feel better than others. Let's just stay there for a moment.

You don't think I screw up more than you do, serious?

And what do you think our friends would say?

If we were to put Dupies, Longmans, Eldritches on the phone,

the more classic failure.

You have a tendency to embellish shame and then be able to, you know, allow us all to rest in that feeling of everyone, shames.

And then it's funny. So I don't know. Maybe people

do know that I fail as much, but I'm more quiet about it. Well, you're sneakier. I'm not

necessarily lauding you. I'm simply saying that the reality is that sometimes there are more obvious failures.

Sometimes they're way more subtle and complex.

I mean, we went through this not long ago with regard to, you know, a community event called a recycling bin.

Oh, gee.

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