Facing Failure, Part 2

The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center

Psychology, Religion & Spirituality, Mental Health, Christianity, Trauma, Health & Fitness, Theology

4.6 • 628 Ratings

🗓️ 13 September 2019

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this week’s podcast, Dan Allender a series on facing our failures and discusses how unnamed failures can accumulate to become part of ourselves which opens the door to “the idolatry of perfectionism.” How then, Dan asks, will we engage failure in

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.
0:07.5	Each week, we dive into topics that reflect something of what it means to foster hope and
0:12.8	healing in a world so in need of restoration. These conversations grow out of the work we do
0:19.0	with individuals and communities across the country,
0:22.3	which you can learn more about at the Allender Center.org.
0:36.1	As I mentioned in our last podcast, this is not a pleasant topic.
0:43.9	Failure and how we have typically handled failure by levels of new failure, which only adds this concatenating drama of feeling like a failure.
0:59.3	We need to address the fact that failure as a verb isn't an inevitability, but for any of us to
1:05.9	feel like a failure, to feel failure as a noun, I am a failure.
1:13.6	We're in the realm of the dynamic of the human heart and the exigencies of violence, of demand, often the escape and the shutting down process.
1:25.9	So trust that as we enter into this, there are elements
1:29.9	that keep each of us from engaging this well, and our desire, at least my hope, is that we
1:37.2	would move more and more into a stance of addressing failure in a way in which we end up not only flourishing but profiting
1:46.1	from the experience itself. So addressing failure requires absolutely an engagement with
1:53.8	disappointment. And that is our own disappointment in ourselves. And often because failure almost inevitably is relational,
2:05.1	there will always be the experience of others' disappointment in us and in themselves,
2:12.3	given the propulsion of the dynamic of failure as it entangles us all. So there are three premises that I want to
2:20.9	begin with. To me, they're like looking at a compass and going, this is north, therefore, this is
2:29.1	south. This is east. This is west. Let's get at least a couple parameters that if you differ on,
2:36.9	much of what I will say will be disturbing. First, I would presume that we know that learning
2:46.7	anything of value requires reiterative failure. I mean, professional tennis players who are ranked
2:55.6	number one or two or three in the world end up losing to players who have a ranking far lower
	...

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