FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles
For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive
The Athletic
4.8 • 538 Ratings
🗓️ 19 January 2023
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the need to explain dramatic football moments to nearby people who don't care, the provocative scourge of Combined XIs, the functional pointlessness of centre circles, and the underreported confusion of "Last 5 Matches" form graphics.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess the aftermath of the unprecedented live "sex noises" scenes on the BBC's FA Cup coverage.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Athletic. |
| 0:05.2 | I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like. |
| 0:10.4 | Is gas going to have a crack? |
| 0:12.2 | He is, you know. |
| 0:13.0 | Oh, he fell! |
| 0:15.6 | Brilliant! |
| 0:18.8 | But jeez! |
| 0:19.7 | He's round the goalkeeper! |
| 0:21.1 | He's done it! |
| 0:22.7 | He's totally incredible! |
| 0:24.7 | He launched himself six feet into the crowd, and Kung Fu kicked. |
| 0:30.8 | A supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of an out giving him lip. |
| 0:35.4 | Oh, I say! |
| 0:37.3 | It's amazing! It does it tame, and tame, getting him lip. Oh, I say, it's amazing. |
| 0:38.4 | It does it tame and tame and tame again. |
| 0:41.4 | Frank of the music, charge a glass. |
| 0:45.3 | This nation is going to dance all night. |
| 0:50.7 | Popmaster Transfer News, pre-matched sex noises on the BBC, excitedly explaining dramatic football matches to people who don't care, |
| 0:59.1 | the autopilot piss-boiling of combined 11s, a surprisingly comprehensive discussion of centre circle culture, |
| 1:05.8 | blowing the lid off the last five matches form graphic confusion, and the most lectured corner kick jostler |
| 1:12.0 | in the Premier League. |
| 1:13.5 | Brought to your ears by the Athletic. |
... |
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