Hi everybody. Welcome to the Women's Dating and Confidence Podcasts. My name is Amber, and today we're going to be talking about expanding the 1%.

Before we get into that, I want to share with you my free guide called

copy and paste texts for when he's pulling away or acting flaky. The link to download that

guide is in the show notes. It's an eight-page guide with the exact situations that come up

over and over again in dating, what you can respond and why.

So I may have shared this on the podcast before.

It's definitely getting to that point where, you know, 200-something episodes and I don't remember

every single episode I've made, but I know I haven't specifically made a full episode about this concept, and I do want to expand on it a little bit.

Also, you may hear a little bit of like sniffling or sniffing, oinking kind of piglet sounds.

That's because I'm babysitting my friend's dog, and she's a pug. So she just

sounds like a little piglet. So anyways, let's talk a little bit about what I mean by this concept of

expanding the 1%. So years ago, I was really depressed. And it's been a long journey recovering from the depression,

starting with learning about CBT and ending with Dr. Stephen Illardi's book, The Depression

Cure. But today, I want to start with where it began. So I read a book called Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns, and it's about

CBT. And one of the things that I learned in that book was how I spoke to myself and the labels that I put

on myself. And one of the labels that I frequently every single day thought of

myself was that I'm lazy. And obviously, I had a lot of evidence to back this up because one of the

symptoms of depression is looking like you're lazy. I was exhausted all the time. I was procrastinating all the time. I had a

really hard time focusing, getting work done, functioning, just showing up to my life in general.

And of course, then my mind created that label of, you're so lazy, and that's why nothing works

out. And it was just a negative cycle. So when I learned about

my thoughts and how my thoughts create my feelings and how the way that I think of myself influences

...