Exclusive: Listen to "Don't Feed the Lion", Chapter #1
Unholy: Two Jews on the News
Unholy Media
4.7 • 770 Ratings
🗓️ 11 November 2025
⏱️ 21 minutes
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Summary
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| 0:00.0 | Theo |
| 0:01.0 | You know that feeling when you're charging down the soccer pitch with the ball |
| 0:06.9 | and the opposing team swarms? |
| 0:09.7 | But then a pocket of space opens up. |
| 0:12.7 | You have less than half a millisecond to take an outside-the-foot touch, |
| 0:16.7 | move around the defenders, take your shot on goal, |
| 0:19.5 | and you actually score? |
| 0:22.0 | Nice job, Kaplan! |
| 0:24.3 | Coach D never said that unless he meant it. I was flying. Sure, it was against a team that |
| 0:31.0 | we'd beaten before, but whatever, I got this feeling that maybe, just maybe, I was legit. |
| 0:40.1 | I mean, if nothing else, I'd just tied up the game. We were now officially at the top of the league table. That's what I'm |
| 0:45.7 | talking about, my best friend Connor cheered. He started doing a little victory dance for me that |
| 0:51.8 | was somewhere between twerking and a chicken |
| 0:54.5 | laying eggs. I pushed him away because I didn't want to look full of myself, but honestly, |
| 0:59.4 | it was a pretty awesome goal, especially since I usually played defensive mid, and Connor |
| 1:05.4 | took shots on goal. Connor and I had been tight since forever, |
| 1:14.6 | or I guess since the first day of Future Stars Soccer Clinic when we were four years old. |
| 1:17.0 | All I remembered of that day was getting a bloody nose |
| 1:19.7 | after a ball smacked me in the face. |
| 1:21.9 | Connor said I was super tough stuff |
| 1:24.1 | because I just smeared it on my sleeve and kept running. |
| 1:27.8 | We hung out together every day after that, usually on a field or in his backyard. |
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