Everything That Comes Before Intimacy with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What does “true intimacy” actually mean—and why do so many couples feel disconnected even when they love each other? In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and co-authors of Building True Intimacy, to unpack the deeper layers of connection most relationships are missing. We dive into their Intimacy Pyramid™ framework—a powerful model that explains why so many relationships struggle at the foundation and how couples can rebuild safety, trust, and emotional closeness from the ground up. From the tension between secrecy and privacy to the complicated realities of checking a partner’s phone, this conversation gets honest about what actually builds (or breaks) trust. We also explore what happens after betrayal—and whether it’s truly possible for a relationship to come back stronger. If you’ve ever felt stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to rebuild closeness, this episode gives you a clear path forward. Key Takeaways: True intimacy defined Love vs connection gap Intimacy Pyramid basics Secrecy vs privacy Trust after betrayal One small shift Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠⁠AG1⁠ - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. ⁠Quince⁠ - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:23.3	your body holland and barrett selected lines only subject to availability range varies online and in store
0:28.3	ends 5th of may see website for details all right hello and welcome to relationship advice my name is
0:33.5	colter blocksum and i am here with my best buddy, Lauren Moe Carey. We are licensed professional
0:39.9	counselors all about all things, relationships. And today we have a couple of guests on the show
0:47.6	that I am super excited to talk with. Joanna and Matthew Rsmith are sought after relationship expert speakers and
0:55.4	authors who help high-achieving couples rebuild trust and create deeply connected relationships
1:00.8	after betrayal. They co-lead the Rapsmith team, a coaching collective offering transformative
1:06.5	coaching programs and community support. They are co-authors of building the true intimacy
1:10.7	and creators of the intimacy period,
1:14.4	which is what I'm super excited for us to dive into because this is something we've been using
1:18.8	at Thrive for years and we never knew where it came from.
1:23.7	And now we do.
1:24.5	And we get to talk to the creators themselves.
1:27.5	Okay. and now we do, and we get to talk to the creators themselves.
1:42.5	Matthew and Joanna, welcome. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. How are you all doing?
1:44.8	We're great. excited to be here. Yeah, looking forward to it. Yeah, yeah. So you two, tell us just briefly about the Rapsmith team.
1:49.8	And am I saying Rapsmith, Rape Smith? You got it right. You nailed it. Perfect. Yeah.
1:54.9	You know, we, Joanne and I got into this, not expecting this to be our journey. We wanted,
2:00.1	we had a sense we wanted to do some things for
2:02.9	marriages. We didn't know what that was going to be. And we got really lucky to, when we were in
2:09.1	seminary, to get exposed to some therapeutic modalities for the first time that really, I think,
	...

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