Everything Is Stupid - Holiday Edition
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Comedy Central
4.4 • 13.5K Ratings
🗓️ 24 December 2021
⏱️ 4 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Ronny Chieng rails against global warming's effects on Christmas tree prices, sustenance for reindeer in the North Pole and the quality of sparkling wine. Originally aired December 2019.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to Comedy Central. |
| 0:02.6 | BAM! |
| 0:04.0 | It's officially the holiday season. |
| 0:06.6 | A time for family, to-geveness, and cocktails with eggs for some reason. |
| 0:11.0 | But you better enjoy it while it lasts. |
| 0:14.0 | Ronnie Chang tells us why in another installment of Everything is Stupid. |
| 0:25.0 | Ugh, it's Christmas again. |
| 0:28.0 | It's just another excuse for you people to send me stupid pictures of your family. |
| 0:32.0 | Oh, great. Another baby dressed as an elf. |
| 0:35.0 | Wow, thanks for the reminder to get a vasectomy. |
| 0:39.0 | But now, thanks to all these stupid world leaders not giving a shit about climate change, |
| 0:44.0 | everything you love about Christmas is gonna disappear, starting with Christmas trees. |
| 0:49.0 | This year, your Christmas tree could wind up costing you more than you've spent in the past. |
| 0:53.0 | At this farm outside Los Angeles, the average tree costs around a hundred bucks. |
| 0:59.0 | Nationwide, a fresh-cut Christmas tree now averages $76, double what it cost in 2008. |
| 1:06.0 | Blame it on climate change. |
| 1:08.0 | Rising temperatures, wildfires, and drought have all made farming more challenging. |
| 1:14.0 | Yeah, that's right. |
| 1:15.0 | Climate change is taking away Christmas trees. |
| 1:18.0 | By 2050, they're gonna be so expensive that the tree will be the present. |
| 1:22.0 | Okay, how are you gonna trick kids into behaving that way? |
| 1:25.0 | Listen, you better be good all year or you're not gonna get a Douglas Fir for Christmas. |
... |
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