How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood in Joan Baez's face? Dude, I'm so funny I inverted an Epiglottis.

Let's round him a faceless and get some pajamas.

Dude, I didn't know my head was a bank.

That's fucking awesome.

I want to eat so many ducy rolls.

I just shit a tire.

I jerked off with this towel so much, it might be a surfboard.

Mr. Schmidt is an entertainer.

Got it cool.

Hey, what's happening?

Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old podcast.

Folks, I said I wasn't going to talk about tech stuff.

Well, I guess I didn't say it to you guys.

I said it to myself, Mike, don't talk about tech stuff, I said to myself, as I was sitting around thinking to myself whether or not I should talk about tech stuff. And I decided wholeheartedly it was a consensus of one, ladies and gentlemen, I wasn't going to talk about tech stuff because, look, millions of podcasts are out there, but they got producers, they got people monitoring everything.

And so they don't have to talk about tech stuff on the air.

Maybe, you know what, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. I think to myself, nobody wants to hear about tech stuff, but maybe because all of the other podcasts out there are now so professional,

they get everything done properly. Maybe you guys turn to me for tech talk. Maybe that's what it is.

Maybe I'm the new, I'm like the car talk idiots, click and fuck or whatever the fuck their names were.

Click and frack? Click and frack. Dummy. How would I not know that? Click is CL right there.

Why would it be Click and Frack?

By the way, you do not.

Click and Frack is a terrible, terrible puppet show.

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