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Le Batard & Friends - Mystery Crate

Episode Three Hundred - Seventy Eight: Illegal Littering, Drunk Deer & Pandemic Trauma

Le Batard & Friends - Mystery Crate

Meadowlark Media

Sports

4.96.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2026

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tony is moving into his new house and desperately needs help… but nobody on Mystery Crate wants to lift a single box. Then Rose casually admits she once dumped an entire couch at a construction site and LEFT IT THERE. This episode spirals into: Illegal couch littering confessions The worst moving experiences ever Pandemic flashbacks Drunk deer roaming France Trash chute chaos Dog disasters Celebrity sightings in New York Bowling debates Old ass hockey stories with Roy Also featuring: Mark Messier’s legendary 1994 guarantee, HOA nightmares, and why nobody should ever help friends move after age 30.Subscribe for more Mystery Crate chaos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

With some good news, the rare good news.

0:11.8

Wow.

0:12.5

I emptied out the pot in front of my house yesterday, and I'm going to start moving

0:15.8

into the new house soon this weekend, but I have a dilemma, boys and girls.

1:28.3

I don't like to ask people for help when it comes to moving. Yeah. Because it's such a bad look. It's like, especially now in our 30s, it's like, don't ask me to come help you move. Well, that obviously makes sense because no one wants to help you move. I don't even want to move. I don't want to help myself move. Yeah, like no one wants to help anybody move. Not even your wife. But are you saying that like you're not hiring a moving service? No, see, so what happened was when we used to live at the apartments that I used to live at prior to us having the baby, I got a moving service to move our stuff into the townhouse that we were living in, right? And then as we bought the new house and then had to start putting money into renovate and doing certain things like that, your boy had to be the mover. Yeah, man, that ain't for me. I know, which is why I'm not going to ask you. No, no, no. I'm Jewish. I don't do that stuff. Oh, come on. Fuentes, you're non-Jewish. Can you come help me? No. No, once, listen, my moving days ended at 35. Not only do I hire the mover, of course, but I also hire the mover who packs your clothes. You got the double mover? Oh yeah.

1:29.3

They bring in those big boxes that have the hangers on it and they pack your clothes.

1:34.3

They're touching your underwear.

1:35.3

Whatever.

1:36.3

That's their job.

1:37.3

And that's huge.

1:38.3

Where was the last time you moved though?

1:40.3

11 years ago.

1:42.3

But Zazzo's ball. That's how you do it. It's obviously cost a lot more. It's so worth it. I would imagine it is much, much more worth than me going room by room, putting everything in a box, not remembering what I put inside of it, writing the wrong thing on the outside of the box, and then putting it a pod for six months that I don't remember.

2:01.5

Brother, you're in your 30s.

2:02.5

Lifting a dresser, it's not the same.

2:03.8

I did it yesterday.

2:04.6

Me and my brother.

2:05.1

I had my brother.

2:05.7

I called my brother.

2:06.4

I said, hey, Chris, I need you.

2:07.3

The brother with a bum leg? No, he's fine now. He was fine now. Before ACL like six months ago.

2:12.1

No, it was a year ago.

...

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