Go!

Go!

Go! Skill, knack, flame, flame, craft, craft, ability, aptitude, expertise, genius, gift.

I'm the fucking talent.

Hey, what's happened?

I'm Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast.

Might have hit the hay hard there, but that's okay. It goes right into your ears. That's fine.

I'm burying the red. I'm burying the goddamn needle, but that's okay. We'll normalize this.

We'll compress it later. That's how I handle my business. I know how to do these things.

I don't want to do these things. I want to just talk. I just want to go ahead and yammer. And by the way, here's another reason you need a producer, not just to go ahead and normalize and compress. And not in

that order. First you compress and then you normalize. That's what I learned. That's the piece

paper I have from a stripper told me. Literally a stripper told me how to this and this and this. Now, in addition to being a stripper, she was also a producer at several major radio stations,

which is totally fine. But I like

to mention the stripper part first. Then everybody goes, what the

fuck, you learn from a stripper? And I'm like, yeah, man,

sex workers know what's up.

If there's, you know, look, if they're, this, look at a cock. Who's going to know their way around a cylindrical object that you put your mouth on any more than a goddamn stripper? I guess a prostitute. All right, fine, or whomever. Or somebody who

loves cock. I don't want to be a pigeonholing guy. I'm not saying that sex workers are the only

people who should teach you about your goddamn podcast, but I'm saying, give them a fucking shot.

Man, everybody's looking for work these days. Go ahead and find a sex worker. Go to one only fans and go, you know what? Oh my God.

Do I like that backdoor burger shot?

It's fantastic.

...