Episode 96 - Any Samaritans in tonight?

BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie

Phil Wang and Pierre Novellie

London, Pod, Stand-up, Philwang, Bud, Budpod, Pierrenovellie, Edinburgh Fringe, South Africa, Malaysia, Comedy, Pierre Novellie, Phil Wang, Philly Philly Wang Wang, Funny, Improv, Stand Up

4.8 • 924 Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2021

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The boys are back, boys are back! Phil discusses his regular beatings and Pierre floats the idea of devolved assault, the Osama Bin Laden Theme Park and the obsession with Rome, missing stand up and Biblical stand up comedy, the Osama Bin Laden Theme Park, Amish Scream Up, clown cock is the new ukulele, dog ceviche, The Vulnerables, everybody do the Cough!

Correspondence is an EXCELLENT email about second chances and bum grapes from Jack - R(A)ISIN, coming to Netflix this summer!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	It's 96, Bud-POT 96, is that anything?
0:04.4	96, we're just about getting into a range of exam results that would have been acceptable from me during my primary school years.
0:17.0	Now were the stereotypes true filled did you have that level of pressure in everything except the arts?
0:28.0	Oh definitely I mean in my Chinese school in Malaysia, we'd, one teacher, with one teacher, every teacher had a cane and with one teacher
0:40.2	you got a smack with a cane for every percentage point you got off of 90.
0:49.2	Jesus. So if you got 89% you got one here. If you got 89% you got 1 hit if you got 88% you got 2. I mean God forbid if you didn't
0:59.2	turn up and got zero because that was 90 no I don't think I doubt I don't
1:06.4	I don't want that got that bad but it was like I couldn't it was I I couldn't
1:09.9	father I was like what if someone gets 30%? If someone gets 30% then it's like a
1:16.8	scene from the Passion of the Christ.
1:21.0	Just streaming blood and being forced to walk around the school.
1:26.0	Just flesh flying around the room, staining the walls.
1:30.0	But did this happen with English?
1:35.0	Oh, I don't have any recollection of our English classes in Chinese school.
1:42.0	I've done at all. No I remember with Chinese class.
1:46.7	Malay class, the Malay teacher had quite a thin cane so I didn't mind getting hit with
1:52.0	in Malay because the pain was very sharp and very short.
1:56.4	The Chinese teacher, I can remember the thickness of their canes to this day.
2:01.3	Chinese teacher had quite a thick sturdy cane. It was the most painful.
2:06.2	So I tried to avoid hers if I could, which was precarious because Chinese was you know harder than
2:14.8	Malay at the time. Were they these things made out of Ratan or what? That's right yeah
2:20.0	we call them Rotan. Oh, man.
	...

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