Episode 88: One and Done or One More? How to Trust your Own Path with Amanda White

No One Told Us

Rachael Shepard-Ohta

Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.9 • 590 Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Rachael sits down with therapist, author, and mom Amanda E. White to unpack the often unspoken truths about motherhood—ambivalence, choice, and the radical permission to not love every moment. Together, they talk about what it means to question the path of parenthood, to feel unsure, and to still be a good enough parent. This is a deep-dive into choosing your own way in a culture obsessed with “doing it right.” Inside this episode: What it means to be a “fence sitter” about motherhood How social media shapes unrealistic expectations about parenting The grief of unlived lives and letting go of former selves Navigating differing desires with your partner about family size The emotional toll of infertility and decision-making How to know if you’re done having kids—or not Why desire, not fear or pressure, should guide family planning decisions Permission to change your mind—and the freedom in uncertainty & so much more! Mentioned in this episode: Amanda’s website: therapyforwomencenter.com Substack: Fence Sitter Podcast: Nuance Needed If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Instagram | Tiktok | Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to No One Told Us, the podcast that tells the truth about parenting and talks about all the stuff you wish you knew before having kids.
0:10.6	I'm your host, Rachel Shepard Ota, and today I'm so excited to speak with Amanda E. White, a licensed therapist and author of a top parenting substack, Fence Sitter.
0:20.4	She's also the co-host of the Nluence
0:22.3	Needed Podcast and the founder of Group Therapy Practice, Therapy for Women's Center based
0:27.1	in Philadelphia, but serving clients across the country. Amanda has been featured in notable
0:31.6	publications like Forbes, Washington Post, Shape, Women's Health Magazine, and more. And today,
0:36.8	I'm so excited to speak to you about
0:38.6	really all things, mental health, but we're going to have a special focus on this idea of
0:43.2	fence sitting. So I'm excited to get into it. Thanks so much for being here. Absolutely. I'm so
0:47.8	excited to try it with you, Rachel. So for those moms or dads or caregivers listening who might
0:53.8	not know you, can you share a little bit
0:55.4	about yourself and your background and then what inspired you to start fence sitter?
1:01.2	Yeah, absolutely.
1:02.9	So yeah, you got into kind of the main points, but yeah, I'm a licensed therapist by trade.
1:07.6	I have a two-year-old now.
1:10.2	And I was someone who really sat on the fence,
1:13.6	unsure if I wanted children for many, many years. And I started the substack really out of sort of
1:21.3	like a love letter to my previous self of what I wish I would have known because I had such extreme fear about
1:30.9	losing myself in parenting or what it would be like and I felt like no one was no one was
1:37.8	talking about what it was like on the other side I felt like every parent I talked to either was
1:43.6	like I always knew I wanted to have children
1:46.2	or they never wanted to have children or even if I knew them personally and they had talked
	...

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